Colin Cowherd wants to ‘die on the air’ because old, retired men are ‘f*cking miserable’

Colin Cowherd fans can rest easy knowing the renowned radio host and hot take artist is never going to retire.

The Fox Sports Radio host is 58, and unlike 59-year-old Charles Barkley who repeatedly says he wants to retire young, Cowherd would rather die on air than walk around looking like one of those miserable old, retired people.

Cowherd spoke about the concept of retiring on his podcast platform The Volume as he pushed back on rumors that Los Angeles Rams head coach Sean McVay is considering retirement, even though he’s just 36 years old. Unlike McVay, Barkley, and most warm-blooded human beings, the concept of retirement doesn’t interest Cowherd.

“You know who looks miserable? Old guys walking around with their wives in a mall at 74 years old,” Cowherd claimed. “They don’t wanna be doing that. They’ve got nothing to do. Go to any mall in America at 10 in the morning. See guys with those tennis shoes on, 75-year-old men, you know the kind that you velcro? And they’re sitting over there, wearing their Dockers, walking around and they’re f*cking miserable. Absolutely miserable. They can’t wait to be able to have their first gin and tonic at 12:15 in the afternoon. They wanna be sauced by the time Matlock comes on.”

Declaring all retired people “f*cking miserable” is quite the hot take from the veteran hot take artist. Sounds like Cowherd needs a better hobby. While I can appreciate someone who is passionate about their career and understand why Cowherd would like to cling to his radio gig, there’s more to retiring than moving to The Villages, walking around the mall or watching a drama TV series from the ‘80s.

“This race to retire? Come on man. Folks, many of you hate me. Here’s the bad news, I’m gonna die on the air. I’m gonna be 88 years old giving sports takes. My teeth are gonna fall out of my mouth on the air. ‘AND THEN THE DODGERS WIN THE WORLD SERIES!’ Ka-klunk! My teeth will fall out, my dentures,” Cowherd declared. “Some of you hate me. Gonna have to live with it. I’m in my 50s now. I got 30 years of sports takes. And you know what? They’re just gonna get better and better.”

Cowherd certainly wouldn’t be the first sportscaster to remain on-air deep into their ‘80s. Lee Corso is 87, Bob Uecker 88 and Hubie Brown 89, to name a few. And as a person who enjoys writing about some of Cowherd’s bizarre analogies and opinions, I’ll be in his corner if he wants to keep spewing hot takes for another 30 years.

[The Volume]