On Wednesday night, Colts punter Pat McAfee announced he was retiring from the NFL at age 29 to join Barstool Sports and become a member of what he recently described as the bum-ass media.

“The last half of the season I couldn’t really walk much on days that I kick. I’d just go home and lay in bed and ice my knees. I felt like a 90-year-old man,” McAfee said. “Just going into work every morning like, ‘There has to be something more to life than kicking balls.’ And then when Barstool Sports approached me about the potential of joining their family whenever I’m done with football. I told them I might be done sooner than most people think. Conversations kind of cooked up. I told them I wanted to stay in Indianapolis and they said, ‘Sounds good, we’ll give you headquarters out there.’ It was really the perfect fit at the perfect time.”

McAfee said he didn’t know how to officially retire and apparently instead of just asking his agent, he Googled something like “how to retire from the NFL.”

Here is McAfee’s plan moving forward:

“I get a chance to stay in Indianapolis, and I’m gonna have a Barstool headquarters there and do a little radio and a little TV and just create content in general and hopefully make the world a happier place, man.”

Will McAfee really make the world a happier place by joining Barstool? Eh.

[Dan Patrick Show]

About Alex Putterman

Alex is a writer and editor for The Comeback and Awful Announcing. He has written for The Atlantic, VICE Sports, MLB.com, SI.com, the Hartford Courant, Baseball Prospectus, Land of 10 and more. He is a proud alum of Northwestern University and The Daily Northwestern. You can find him on Twitter @AlexPutterman.