On Pablo Torre Finds Out, Mike Golic Jr. and Joe Thomas had what The Athletic’s Bruce Feldman deemed “such a smart conversation” about the heavy secrets of NFL weight loss.
But Golic had to gain weight before he could lose it when he arrived in South Bend to play for Notre Dame. He arrived on campus at 275 pounds and was quickly and not so quietly put on a weight-gaining regimen, which saw his diet transform as he looked to pack on pounds to play collegiate football for the Fighting Irish.
.@mikegolicjr and @joethomas73 explain some of the tricks offensive lineman use to gain weight. One major theme: heavy whipping cream. 😂ðŸ˜
"We would drink these basically milk fat malt shakes that were like 10 oz. … It was like 3,000 calories that you would shoot like a shot… pic.twitter.com/rBm5MYxeWN
— Pablo Torre Finds Out (@pablofindsout) January 2, 2024
Let’s say it wasn’t a party for Golic or his freshman-year roommate.
“Eating, in addition to all working out you do, all the time on the field, becomes part of the job description,” said Golic. “I used to call like lunch and dinner; those were ‘business meetings.’ It was me and the food at a business meeting, and we couldn’t leave until the job was done.
Golic said he had to be clean plate club on every meal, and he eventually learned all the tricks on how to do it. The freshman offensive linemen started much more rudimentary when they got to college. When he first got there, the party didn’t have as much nutritional insight as we see in the world of sports now.
When Golic was a freshman in college, he shared a room with a lacrosse player. The lacrosse player would often laugh at Golic because he had a calendar taped to his bed that showed his meal schedule. Under Golic’s bed, he kept a container of weight gainer, a loaf of bread, and a jar of peanut butter.
But there was also another thing he kept on his side of the room that eventually traveled to his roommates.
“Let me tell you what, the smells,” Golic said in response to Torre’s question about his roommate’s experience. “What that turns your body into is essentially just a mass production machine for sulfur. So imagine a whole apartment that smells like sulfur on a good day just because of what’s coming out of your body…The worst smelling farts on planet Earth.”
During a conversation between Golic, Thomas, and Torre, the topic of discussion was very detailed and nuanced about what offensive linemen go through when it comes to gaining and losing weight. While the conversation was relevant to the beginning of the New Year and making resolutions, generally around losing weight, the main takeaway was the issue of flatulence, or at least that’s what Sports Illustrated took away.
The fart thing is quite funny, and that’s where SI went with its headline: Mike Golic Jr. says diet as offensive lineman produced’ worst smelling farts on planet Earth.’
That’s where Feldman comes into play in his new-found role as a media critic.
@mikegolicjr It was such a smart conversation, and this is what becomes their headline for the aggregation? Ouch.
— Bruce Feldman (@BruceFeldmanCFB) January 4, 2024
Anyone who’s lived with someone with less-than-pleasant digestive issues can empathize with Golic’s roommate. The mental image of a calendar, weight gainer under the bed, and toxic fumes is simply comedic. Everyone can appreciate the humor in farts, even Golic, who confirmed the accuracy of the quote in response to Feldman and even used a laughing emoji.
So, yes, the fart thing is funny, and the headline in question effectively entices readers to click and find out more about this bizarre and hilarious aspect of life as an offensive lineman.
At the same, as Feldman acknowledged in the issue with aggregation, focusing on the fart diminishes the depth and substance of the original conversation.
While the fart anecdote stole the show, the actual value of this conversation lies in its candid exploration of the physical and mental challenges offensive linemen face. Golic and Thomas’ insights offer a raw and unfiltered look at the sacrifices these athletes make beyond the funny headlines.
That’s what Feldman was getting at, but hey, we get it, farts are funny.