Earlier today, the FBI released their file pertaining to any and all investigative work they’ve done on Bigfoot.
— FBI Records Vault (@FBIRecordsVault) June 5, 2019
That alone would make today an one for conspiracy theorists. But then, Paul Pierce decided to reveal why he needed a wheelchair to leave the court during the 2008 NBA Finals, only to return seemingly fine a short time after.
The moment came up during the pregame for tonight’s Game 3 at Oracle Arena, with Michelle Beadle mentioning it and Pierce, surprisingly, offering the story:
“I have a confession to make. I just had to go to the bathroom. Something went down.”
The “intestinal distress” theory has been around for years, from Reddit to The Ringer. It makes some sense; Pierce skipping back onto the court a few minutes later doesn’t really fit with someone injuring a knee or leg enough to be immobile, even for just a few minutes. But a stomach issue? That is something that could be, uh, solved quickly.
But should we believe him? Pierce isn’t exactly straight-faced throughout. It’s possible he’s just playing along with the theory for laughs, although that’s not exactly the kind of story most people would play along with for fun. If that’s what Pierce is doing, though, it’s a rare example of someone being self-deprecating about self-defecating.