Every time Bill Walton works a game, the broadcast has the potential to go off the rails on a long, strange trip (apologies to the Grateful Dead).
The noted Deadhead worked as an analyst on ESPN2’s broadcast of the UCLA-Maryland game Friday night in the Bruins’ Pauley Pavilion. Walton starred in that arena as a three-time national player of the year with UCLA back in the day, but Friday, he was scoring with one-liners left and right during the broadcast.
Of course, with the Bruins facing the Terrapins, Walton easily worked in a reference to Terrapin Station, the Dead’s classic 1977 release.
Some of his other references were far more bizarre. At one point, he asked play-by-play commentator Dave Pasch if he’d ever been to the DMV area, which is comprised of Washington, D.C. and adjacent areas in Maryland and Virginia. Only Walton botched the geography.
“Have you ever been to the DMV there? Washington, Virginia and Delaware,” he asked.
"Have you ever been to the DMV there? Washington, Virginia and Delaware."
— Bill Walton. pic.twitter.com/llu5flGkdH
— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) December 23, 2023
Speaking of the nation’s capitol, Walton worked in another D.C. reference, coining a new nickname for Maryland guard DeShawn Harris-Smith: “Department of Homeland Security.”
Somehow, Walton also managed to mention Iceland’s recent volcanic activity. After the Terrapins ran to a 43-28 halftime lead, he said the team had come across the country to show “what it means to explode.”
Take a gummy and listen to Bill Walton call a game
Then thank me for the experience pic.twitter.com/RbKJxgDUa0
— Tony Niehaus (@BigT44DFS) December 23, 2023
Former ESPN announcer Jason Benetti, who relished working with the Hall of Famer, told the Awful Announcing podcast recently that working a game with Walton was like solving a crossword puzzle, with no clues.
Fans had plenty of fun trying to solve Walton’s puzzles Friday night, as the broadcaster was, as the late, great Jerry Garcia would say, “Truckin.'”
Bill Walton: National Treasure.
— Brian Herold (@AgCat93) December 23, 2023
My nightcap? I shall listen to the ramblings of Bill Walton
[currently “connecting” the volcanic eruption in Iceland to Maryland’s trip to Westwood…]
And symbolically dance on the ashes of the Bruins MBB program against their future Big 10 conference foe! #UCLA #Maryland pic.twitter.com/w4mNoAGyjs
— BrAnonymousOminous (@brianjruiz) December 23, 2023
https://twitter.com/runnerterpfan/status/1738390969064505598
“Crickets & cicadas singing on the farm in college park!” Bill Walton
“Jahmir Young with 23 1st half points” Dave Pasch
“What’s the record for most points by an opposing guard wearing #1 with his left hand in 1st half at Pauley?” Walton
“I can’t answer that in 2 seconds” Pasch pic.twitter.com/Imvivvm9th
— Jack Benjamin (@JackBenjaminPxP) December 23, 2023
I want some of whatever he smoked
— Just A Cryptosis (@justacryptosis) December 23, 2023

About Arthur Weinstein
Arthur spends his free time traveling around the U.S. to sporting events, state and national parks, and in search of great restaurants off the beaten path.
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