Update: We’ve discovered Curves Connect is actually a new site launched by the Farmers Only people (see bottom of article)
Online dating ads, which may be accompanied with products from sites like TheToy, have become quite common on television — especially targeting sports channels — and new sites seem to pop up all the time. Tonight’s National League Wild Card game saw an aggressive push by a new online dating site, Curves Connect. Below, is video of the ad that aired in the first, as well as the third inning for those with DirecTV. It was actually the first ad that aired during the game.
Warning: This ad has a TERRIBLE jingle that may get stuck in your head and drive you to cause harm to yourself. The rest of the ad is really shitty too.
So before really jumping into this, let’s be clear. ESPN did NOT sell this ad. Some sliver of ads are left to your cable or satellite provider to sell, and are often different for local markets. Networks can typically remove these ads (once I tweeted about an ad for an NYC strip club that aired and someone from ESPN got in contact with me to get more details so they could begin the process of having it removed).
Now, nothing against Curves Connect — except for the terrible commercial and GeoCities-looking website — or folks like myself who have some meat on the bones, but this is definitely not an ad you want on your most-watched baseball game aired all season. Maybe late night/early morning, but definitely not primetime for your only playoff game, and for a company and commercial that most people have never heard of or seen before.
Obviously the ad didn’t go unnoticed.
I was 99% sure the Energizer Bunny was going to come through that Curves Connect commercial pounding a drum
— Andy Glockner (@AndyGlockner) October 6, 2016
Did everyone just see that https://t.co/jq19pdZGzV commercial or have I slipped into some bizarre alternate universe.
— Meggo Waffles (@megobits) October 6, 2016
I'm fine with all the CurvesConnect commercials tonite. Beats explaining to my 4-yr old why you should see a dr if you have a 4+ hr erection
— John B (@Interstate19) October 6, 2016
@awfulannouncing I just saw it on DirectTv. Cheesiest commercial that I’ve seen in a long time. Almost like a parody. #CurvesConnect
— Johnny Spin (@Johnny_Spin) October 6, 2016
"Daddy what's #Curvesconnect?" …thanks @espn great commercial during #mets game. #4yearold
— Paulzingis (@OG_PaulyD) October 6, 2016
Nothing is more awkward than watching tv with your parents and a dating site commercial for https://t.co/QgTc2nNw7d comes on. Awwwkward.
— Cayden Parkhurst (@CaydenParkhurst) October 6, 2016
That CurvesConnect advert needed some Sir Mix-A-Lot. #ILikeBigButts
— Stephen McMickles (@JoeyJoeJoe_Jr) October 6, 2016
I used to use https://t.co/ofuaHdXN9E when it was called every bar in St. Louis.
— Misnomer (@Misnomer) October 6, 2016
We've now seen two CurvesConnect commercials and I have a lot of questions.
— Actuarially Not (@WellActuary) October 6, 2016
Dude, #ESPN got no chill #CurvesConnect
— Rolo Rolo (@rolodj) October 6, 2016
And that Curves Connect jingle is some kind of awful.
— Matt Hoeppner (@matthoeppner) October 6, 2016
Prime time, only @MLB game on TV, and @espn advertises #CurvesConnect on @DIRECTV
Stay Classy Bristol#WildCard #Mets #Giants #sales
— Sales Pig (@SalesPig) October 6, 2016
Move over Tinder, Curves Connect is taking over the online dating world pic.twitter.com/zXXgjhOTHd
— Jack McGuire (@TailgateHeisman) October 6, 2016
For a second I thought that https://t.co/WMNeNOMiTh commercial was fake but then I remembered https://t.co/At7b7ZACDy
— Hans Gruber (@Gruber_Hans_) October 6, 2016
Speaking of….Farmers Only answered the bell the next commercial break.
First it was https://t.co/30tFK9Tl4v, then it was https://t.co/8Jz0vlIZiR, now it's https://t.co/e6lHbzwnfu….
What has this world come to
— Riley Mincic (@mincic92) October 6, 2016
Uh oh..a serious reply from #FarmersOnly…what you got #CurvesConnect??
— Roger Dodger (@Roger86Jr) October 6, 2016
Apparently MLB’s audience skews very single (as I type this, another Farmers Only ad is airing).
Looking into Curves Connect only raises more questions. Despite having the ad budget to plunk down for these spots, Curves Connect has less than 30 Twitter followers and they have not tweeted for nearly three months. The account has been around for more than a year, but only has eight tweets. Obviously social media isn’t their marketing forte (nor is web design), so I mean why not spend six figures buying some ads?
None of this makes sense but we’ve developed a working theory.
Curves Connect joined twitter more than a year ago. They haven’t tweeted in months and have 28 followers. Shell company for meth empire?
— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) October 6, 2016
Let’s all hope that commercial never airs again. It’s bad for a lot of reasons, and bad for ESPN and MLB. With that said, the fact we’re writing about this is probably a sign this ad buy actually worked. Damn you, Curves Connect.
Update: Per Curve’s Connect website, the new site is affiliated with Farmers Only.
CurvesConnect.com is a new online dating site launched in 2015. Jerry Miller, founder of FarmersOnly.com (with now over 4 million members), has been studying online dating for over 10 years. Through countless conversations with people from all walks of life, Jerry observed that Hollywood has brainwashed people into what “being attractive” should look like. But why should so many people be overlooked just because they are a few pounds overweight?
Jerry and the leadership team of FarmersOnly decided to build a site where people feel comfortable showing and sharing their true selves, true pictures and true interests. No more posting a photo from 20 years ago because you think you looked better! CurvesConnect.com was started so that you will be accepted just the way you are. At CurvesConnect.com you’ll find real photos of real people looking for real, meaningful relationships. Be who you are, not who others think you should be.
Our site is inspired by the tens of millions of Americans who don’t happen to look like Hollywood celebrities. There are many stereotypes for anyone who is not skinny. Here’s ours: They’re REAL people. CurvesConnect.com is a dating site for anyone who self-identifies as curvy, plus-size, or having a few extra pounds or curves, and anyone who doesn’t judge a book by its cover.