Whether talking about baseball, sexism or evolution, Keith Law never bothers softening his opinions. This man calls things like he sees them. Which is bad news for Tim Tebow.

As ESPN’s amateur and minor-league baseball guru, Law drew the assignment of scouting Tebow at the Arizona Fall League, as the quarterback-turned-outfielder attempts to stick in the Mets system.

Law’s assessment of Tebow was… harsh. It’s basically just one burn after another. After the first sentence of the piece, which simply announces that Tebow is in the AFL, every single sentence insults either Tebow or the Mets. There’s no acknowledgement of Tebow’s strengths or perfunctory attempts to justify his signing. Just flame emojis from start to finish. This is a concise, thorough takedown, like an entire John Oliver segment packed into four minutes.

The entire 400-word screed, which lives behind an Insider paywall, is worth reading (and admiring), but here are the highlights:

– Tim Tebow is in the Arizona Fall League. He might be better suited to playing in an Arizona high school league. His presence here is a farce, and he looks like an imposter pretending to have talent he does not possess.

– Tebow the baseball player is not a baseball player; he’s a washed-up quarterback who has size and nothing else. His swing is long, and he wields the bat like someone who hasn’t played the sport in more than a decade, which he hasn’t.

– The Mets’ decision to sign Tebow for $100,000 as, essentially, an undrafted 29-year-old free agent, where any other player would be lucky to get $1,000 and a plane ticket, was a craven, mercenary move befitting an independent-league team desperate for the added revenue from ticket sales, not something a major league team with postseason aspirations should be doing.

–  This is all in service of adding jersey sales, but if MLB and the Mets were being honest about this, the front of Tebow’s jersey would say “Avarice” in Comic Sans.

Stop Keith, he’s already dead!

We have no real reason to doubt Law’s evaluation, given that it’s his job to evaluate baseball prospects. But sheesh, there must be something nice you can say.

[ESPN]

About Alex Putterman

Alex is a writer and editor for The Comeback and Awful Announcing. He has written for The Atlantic, VICE Sports, MLB.com, SI.com and more. He is a proud alum of Northwestern University and The Daily Northwestern. You can find him on Twitter @AlexPutterman.

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