It’s no secret that certain hockey announcers can be a little, shall we say, suggestive at times. The most prominent may be NBC’s Pierre McGuire, who you may remember from such posts as “Pierre McGuire Is Seriously Creepy” (and if you think his NHL commentary’s bad, watch him talking about teenage players during the World Juniors) and such videos/drinking games as this one. However, McGuire now has a new challenger, as this bit of analysis from Dallas Stars commentator Daryl “Razor” Reaugh (yes, that’s the picture he uses on his own Twitter feed above) on Mike Ribeiro’s overtime game-winning goal against Calgary Thursday night might be the most innuendo-laden analysis ever recorded:

So, yeah. Reaugh starts off with the only moderately-disturbing “This goal is six shades of sexy,” but things escalate quickly from there. “Puck back in behind, round the house, curl it in, pull its pants down and spank it home”? I don’t think there’s really a legitimate usage of “spank” in hockey, and even if there was, you can probably find a better term. Reaugh’s just getting started, though, as he goes on to get even weirder. “Watch the reaction from [Flames’ goalie] Mikka Kiprusoff. There’s the manipulation up top; here comes the stimulation. Kabang!”

You might expect something crazy like this from a more inexperienced announcer, but Reaugh hardly fits that bill. Following several years as an NHL backup goalie with Edmonton and Hartford, he started his broadcasting career in 1991 with the minor-league American Hockey League, then served as the colour commentator for Hartford in 1996 and provided the colour on EA Sports’ NHL ’98 and ’99 titles. (Unfortunately, the play-by-play and commentary on the memorable N64 version of the latter title is all Bill Clement, so we can’t blame Reaugh for lines like “He leaves him in a crumpled heap!” and “Northbound on a southbound freeway, look out!”) Reaugh has been with the Stars since 1996, and he even works on some Hockey Night In Canada broadcasts these days.

I can’t say I’ve ever noticed this kind of inneundo from him before, but it might not be as bad of a career move as you’d think; after all, McGuire’s done pretty well despite a long history of being creepy. If Reaugh keeps this up, though, watching hockey highlights with the sound on in workplaces might become a little more dangerous…

(video via Puck Daddy)

About Andrew Bucholtz

Andrew Bucholtz is a staff writer for Awful Announcing and The Comeback. He previously worked at Yahoo! Sports Canada and Black Press.

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