The 30 for 30 series was one of the best things that ESPN has ever done.  Several of the documentaries were top class and they were helped by a great ad campaign that always had memorable trailers starring a familiar piano theme and the “What if I told you” refrain…

What if I told you that the iconic 30 for 30 music was now immortalized in a Jenny Craig commercial starring, wait for it, Carrie Fisher!  (That’s Princess Leia if you may not know, and honestly, why should you)  Way to be relevant, Jenny.  Jenny Craig really dropped the ball on the ad below.  If you’re going to use the 30 for 30 theme then you have to add the voiceover guy too!  I mean, he’s not Ted Williams, but it’s like separating peanut butter from jelly!  

I think it should go something a little like this, in the ESPN voice of course…

“What if I told you that even intergalactic royalty battles the bulge.  That the universe is a hostile place for a fat person.  That the dark side is even darker with an extra twenty pounds.  That Luke, I am your father.  What if I told you that Jenny Craig is actually a real person.  See, she has her own WIkipedia page.  

What if I told you that George Costanza was also on Jenny Craig?   Would that convince you?  Really though, what does Jenny Craig do?  Does anybody know?  Seriously, can’t you just diet on your own and not need some commercial with a washed up 80s movie star and calming piano music to get you motivated to lose weight?  Critically acclaimed Jenny Craig, buy it now, whatever it is.”  


About Matt Yoder

Award winning sportswriter at The Comeback and Awful Announcing. The biggest cat in the whole wide world.