How to Kill a Vampire, by Gary Cohen and Keith Hernandez

Come to SNY to watch the Baby Mets, stay for Gary Cohen and Keith Hernandez giving advice on how to kill a vampire.

The bats came alive at just the right time for the Washington Nationals Wednesday night as they overcame being shutout for six innings to notch a walk off win against the New York Mets. And just as the Nationals were forging their comeback, a second type of bat came alive.

No, it was not the Dark Knight, he’s in real estate now. It wasn’t a wooden bat, it wasn’t Matt Harvey, it was a real bat. During the eighth inning, SNY cameras found a live bat sitting on the fence behind home plate at National Park, sparking an interesting discussion between broadcasters Gary Cohen and Keith Hernandez.

The bats came alive during the Mets-Nationals game last night pic.twitter.com/XcZGFOFIzW

— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) September 7, 2023

“Here’s the thing about bats and bats, if you carve a bat just properly you can make it into a stake,” Cohen noted. But was he talking about carving a wooden bat into a stake or a live bat into a steak? Turns out it was the former.

“And bats are associated with vampires,” Cohen continued. “And if you drive a stake through a vampire, you take them out.”

“Yes, you can,” Hernandez chimed in to confirm the stake method can take care of any vampire problems you might have at home or at a ballpark. But if driving a stake through the heart of a vampire isn’t your preferred method of execution, Hernandez has backup options. “Also, garlic is a great deterrent and the crucifix.”

Even with Mets fans having to endure their most disappointing season in decades (which is saying a lot), they can still take solace in knowing the SNY broadcast booth will never disappoint for as long as Gary Cohen, Keith Hernandez and Ron Darling are sitting behind microphones.

[SNY]