Climbing Mount Everest. Splitting the atom. Canceling your cable subscription. These are among the biggest challenges that humanity has ever had to face. In the wake of Disney and ESPN’s high stakes carriage dispute with Charter and Spectrum, many people are deciding to switch their provider or cut the cord so they don’t miss the beginning of the football season. Peter Burns of the SEC Network is one of those individuals. And as his horror story proves, it’s not quite straight-forward.
Burns started crowdsourcing on Twitter last week for what might be the best option to make the switch.
Crowdsourcing here:
Potentially looking for a new cable provider in the next 24 hours.
Suggestions?
— Peter Burns (@PeterBurnsESPN) September 1, 2023
Burns said on Wednesday that he tried canceling his Spectrum cable packages three times but got nowhere. Furthermore, the difficulty of the process led him to consider canceling his internet with the company too. Note to Charter: If you’re pivoting away from the video industry anyways, you probably want to make this process easier so you don’t lose your internet customers too.
I tried 3 different times today, all 3 times it was well over an hour with no answer.
Sadly, I wanted to keep my @GetSpectrum internet service but not sure if I’ll even do that now.
— Peter Burns (@PeterBurnsESPN) September 6, 2023
Then the fun really began as Burns took to Twitter to document attempt #4 at canceling his cable package including an ungodly 8 hours on hold in three previous failed attempts.
1st update:
9:05
1st Call to "downgrade service"9:20: After 15 minutes, I'm connected to rep who says that they'll need to transfer me to another department.(This is the 4th time this week this has happened)
I appreciate their consistency
I've got 98% battery
Vibes good.— Peter Burns (@PeterBurnsESPN) September 7, 2023
3rd Update:
9:50am:Pump fake #1!
Elevator hold music stopped…as if I was going to be connected to an actual human…..but when it clicked over…I just got a new loop of music
Luckily I didn't bite
Last 3 times this happened, my heart jumped thinking I made it
Not today. pic.twitter.com/PECeAscas5
— Peter Burns (@PeterBurnsESPN) September 7, 2023
Finally, after 72 minutes on the phone sampling the best elevator music money can buy, Burns was ecstatic to be in contact with another human being at the company.
4th Update:
10:13AM
WE’VE GOT HUMAN INTERACTION!!!
WE’VE BROKE CONTAIN!!
THIS IS HAPPENING PEOPLE!!! pic.twitter.com/pKM4vaeKAQ
— Peter Burns (@PeterBurnsESPN) September 7, 2023
Part of the reason for the delay? It seems as if there is a LOT of people trying to cancel their Spectrum cable service. Also, Michigan State got sideswiped in the conversation. Poor Sparty.
5th Update:
10:30am
My Retention guy is super nice.
Said they have over 3600 people in the cue on Friday and it’s been steady everyday.
Said the average wait time was close to 90 minutes
Also, he was a Michigan State fan but “not anymore because they stink” pic.twitter.com/pzx3cVft2O
— Peter Burns (@PeterBurnsESPN) September 7, 2023
And then, Burns was able to declare victory, just a tad over what was apparently the average wait time.
https://twitter.com/PeterBurnsESPN/status/1699797794947805215
If you’ve ever wondered what the real-life version of Andy Dufresne crawling through the sewer is, this might be the closest thing to it. Congratulations Peter on your newfound freedom. And good luck to others who hope to do the impossible and move on to a different service themselves.