I said I’d make it up to you for the Ravens fans photo. I suppose Christy Cooley will do, won’t she?

I’m actually looking forward to this game because I’ve not had an opportunity to watch Joe Flacco, really. So it will be interesting to see the Ravens with an actual offense. That said, I don’t like seeing the Ravens in the playoffs; they always remind me of Modell’s scummy little move and there’s not really anything compelling or interesting about them as a team to outside observers.

That doesn’t mean they’re not a good team and that what they’re doing under a first-year coach isn’t impressive.

Skins will get the ball first, as Houska will kick to Rock Cartwright; they’ll start at the 28 yard line.

Antwaan Randle El, game show host in training. Jason Campbell starts with a pass that’s a bit short to Santana Moss. Hits Cooley on the next one, who makes it out to the 40. Campbell is hit as he throws, and Ed Reed comes up to dive for it….NICE PICK BY REED! Been doing that for a while.

First thing Flacco does is hit Derrick Mason right in the hands for 20+. First and 10 at the Skins’ 29. Willis McGahee burrows in for a couple yards. Jason Taylor deflects the next pass.

There are enough players from the U in this game to make this a reunion. Portis, Moss, Lewis, Reed, McGahee…Ray Rice, the rookie from Rutgers, busts up the middle into the Skins secondary. First and goal! Flacco hands off to Le’Ron McLain, who barrels in for the TOUCHDOWN! Matt Stover’s kick is up and good, 7-0, Baltimore.

Jeez, that was quick.

Houshka kicks off to Cartwright, who brings it back out to the 30. Portis gets four yards on his first carry, and 2nd and 6 at the 34 is incomplete to Randle El. The Ravens D hits Campbell as he’s throwing and it falls short, so a 3 and out. Better than a pick, though…Ryan Plackenmeier’s punt is partially blocked, and the Ravens will start with good position in their own territory.

On 2nd down, Flacco just throws it out of bounds when he has nothing to go to.

“He went to Pitt, didn’t own a car, transferred to Delaware, didn’t own a car, and he got to Baltimore and still didn’t own a car. Someone recently gave him one.” – John
“Was it a Bentley?” – Al

Flacco tries to run for it himself but is short on the 3rd down rush. The Ravens have to punt it away, and it’s fair caught by Randle El at his own 11.

Clinton Portis gets the carry, and rumbles around, dragging Ed Reed with him to the 21, and THE BALL IS LOOSE! Ed Reed picks it up, runs, spins away from a player, and gets in the end zone!

Hold on, Washington’s gonna challenge this and it looks like they’re gonna get it back. Oh, wow, it stands! TOUCHDOWN, RAVENS! Stover’s kick is up and good, 14-0 Ravens, thanks to Ed Reed being a ballhawk.

Nice, early hole to have to dig out of.

Wow, I’m not used to seeing good defense……I only watch Brian Russell. – SSReporters

I still think Portis’ elbow hit the ground beforehand. Cartwright only gets out to the 17 yard line on the kickoff.

“For what it’s worth, Cartwright just tried to stay warm.” – Al, as the returner didn’t think he was tackled and ran to the end zone. Portis maybe gets a yard on 1st down. One yard from Portis on 2nd down. Campbell hits Devin Thomas right in the numbers on 3rd down and picks up 17 yards. First down at the Skins’ 37.

Portis isn’t getting a damn thing. He gets hit behind the line of scrimmage and it’s obvious the Ravens’ D wants to make Campbell have to throw to beat them. The Auburn grad hits Santana Moss for eight or nine yards on 2nd down. Mike Sellers gets to the outside, jumps over the corner and crosses midfield for the first down by slipping a Ray Lewis tackle. First at the 45, and that’ll be moving back to midfield on a delay of game penalty.

“He can even get into the end zone backwards; forward, sideways, backwards, any way you want to go in.” — John on Ed Reed

That’s what your mother said last night! (cue bad Sean Connery impression) – Jay

The pen is mightier than the sword, Alex! Speaking of pens, here are the NSFW photos (as if any of you are working anyway) of Minnesota Viking dong shown on Fox earlier this afternoon.

Screen pass to Portis gets shut down by Ray-Ray and them for a loss of 1. Campbell scoots out at the 49 as the play breaks down, and it’ll be coming back….Baltimore declines the illegal shift penalty to make it a 3rd and very long — and down goes Campbell. Jim Leonard and Ray-Ray deck him at the Skins’ 42. Plackenmeier’s punt is downed at the B-more 16.

McGahee fumbles on first down and it goes out of bounds at about the 9 to start. Nice. McGahee gets back to the 11 on the next carry. 3rd and 15 goes to Ray Rice, who gets to the 20, but here comes the punt team. Skins start at 32 after the punt is downed. 1st down incomplete to Portis. Dr. Don’t Know finally gets some room on the outside and gets to a bit past the 40, gets a first down. He carries it again for about four more yards. Campbell has another pass batted down on 3rd down, and Plackenmeier’s gonna come out again.

Leonard brings the return out to the 27 yard line, but it’ll go back a bit thanks to an illegal block in the back. Ravens start at their own 9, and McLain gets nothing on the carry. He gets it again on 2nd down and he’ll be lucky to have 2 yards on that one. Flacco goes for broke on 3rd down, aiming for Mark Clayton past mid-field, and he and the corner get tied up and fall before the ball gets there.

Sam Koch boots it towards Randle El at the sidelines, but it winds up going out of bounds.

Campbell hits Randle El for 17 on the first play, and the Skins are already at the Ravens’ 40. He throws the next one low, at the feet of the receiver — but it won’t matter, as defensive holding is called on Ray Lewis, earning Washington an automatic first down. Campbell rolls out and hits Devin Thomas for a few more yards. 2nd and 5 at the 31. Another pass deflected, this one by Jim Leonard. 3rd down’s incomplete, looking for Randle El again. FG team’s coming on. Shaun Suisham will try from 48, and it’s not close.

God, Zorn looks like someone pissed in his cereal right now. – Anonymous

He reminds me of Coach Buzzcut from Beavis and Butt-head. I expect him to yell “KICK ME IN THE JIMMY!” at someone.

Flacco aims for Mason and the ball gets knocked out. 2nd down and 10 goes to Rice, who gets up to the 41. Another incomplete pass and Flacco is 1-7, and it’s fourth down. Koch punts, Randle El is tackled at the 18. Moss makes the catch for 9 on first down; Betts then picks up the first down. Portis is on the sidelines, possibly with one of many nagging injuries. Campbell goes Air Mail for Moss, but Fabian Washington stays with him and gets a hand on the ball. Betts gets nailed for nothing by Haloti Ngata. Campbell slips a tackler, dishes it off short to Mike Sellers, who gets six or seven. Not enough for the first, and an illegal formation call on the Skins to boot. Declined, and it’s 4th down.

The short punt gives Baltimore good field position, but they’ll be moved back thanks to a holding penalty.

I guess you have to leave Oakland, if you want to have a good career. – 49er16

Fabian Washington is learning that, and Nnamdi Asomugha will too as soon as he can escape the Black Hole. Hopefully neither Darren McFadden nor JaMarcus Russell will be too wrecked by the time they’re able to leave.

And the NBC cameras show the man much of Cleveland considers the Devil. Flacco goes deep again on first down and Todd Heap comes down with it for a 30 yard gain. Complete rainbow ball. McGahee gets a couple yards. The 2nd down pass to McLain is tipped.

A shot of Cam Cameron, whose woeful 1-15 as head coach in Miami last year will soon be forgotten by Rod Marinelli and the shitpile that is the Detroit Lions. Cameron’s real first name? Malcolm.

Flacco runs to the left, but he’s short of the first, and, well, punting is winning. Fair catch by Randle El at the 11. The Sportsman of the Year is in the luxury suites, and John and Al are waxing rhapsodic about Michael Phelps’ love of football. I’d think he’d be paying more attention if he actually did, but then again, he probably is a fan, otherwise, he wouldn’t show up wearing a jersey and a Ravens cap.

The Skins keep killing themselves. 3rd and 1 turns into 3rd and 6 after a false start. Follow that up with another false start, this one on Moss. Zorn looks like he just swallowed something nasty. Somehow, Mike Sellers had all the room in the world to get a first down…and that’s because there was offensive holding. 3rd and 15 at the 4 — and a short out to Santana Moss means he gets 26 yards, most of it after the catch, for a first down.

Portis picks up another first down on the next play, and the Skins are now close to midfield. He gets completely stuffed on the next carry attempt. 2 minute warning.

“Sellers runs up to the 45, setting up a very big 3rd and short.” – Al, when the play resulted in a 4th down. He did correct himself.

Ravens start on their own 7 after the punt. McGahee runs for two or three, and another play will mean the end of the first half. Kneel and that’s it: Baltimore’s up 14-0 at the half. Yawner so far, though. See you in the second half thread.