One plus side to the historic events of last night is the schaudenfreude of watching the Boston media fall all over themselves trying to explain the epic collapse of the Red Sox.  The poster boy of everything one may find annoying with the Boston media is Dan “Carrot Top” Shaughnessy.  One only has to Google his name to find a small sampling of the ridiculous and laughable statements he’s made over the years…

“Wow. Have there been worse days in the history of New England sports?” – that was Monday morning after the Pats lost a regular season game to the Bills.  No, definitely not an overstatement.

“The champagne toasts and Duck Boat parades are fun and memorable, but we are Bostonians and sometimes we fixate on the losses more than we celebrate the wins.  This one ranks way up there in the pantheon of pain — somewhere on the medal platform alongside Glendale, Ariz., in 2008 and Yankee Stadium in 2003.” – after Belichick’s loss to Rex Ryan in the postseason last year.  Yea, at least you have your Bostonianness to cling to.

“How about banishing the 2011 Red Sox from postseason play on the grounds of horsebleep play for the entire month of September?  This is where we are with less than a week to go in the regular season. The math says the Sox are probably going to qualify for the tournament, but they should be barred on sheer principle and merit.” – Can a sportswriter bar a team from the playoffs on his own?  Sadly, we’ll never find out.  Looks like the Sox took care of that on their own.

“Walk out your door and try to find someone who can name five players in this year’s tournament. You won’t find anyone unless you live next door to Bob Ryan, my boss Joe Sullivan, or one of the pudding-eating, basement-dwelling blog boys who’d normally be tracking UZR or NFL fantasy teams.” – Somehow he found away to offend NCAA basketball fans AND bloggers in the same sentence!  My pudding eating heart is broken into a million pieces.

Last night then, Dan Shaughnessy, sage of the universe, decided he was going to be the one to end the season of the Tampa Bay Rays.  After all, they were down 7-0 in the 8th inning against the Yankees.  Going against every intricate aspect of baseball karma, Shaughnessy opened his wordhole just a bit too soon.  During the rain delay in Boston last night, Shaughnessy just might have possibly certainly jinxed the Red Sox last night.  Cursed them, if you will.  Although, maybe we should thank Dan for putting into motion the amazing events of last night.  Enjoy this lovely “Dewey Defeats Truman” soundbyte…

H/T Hot Clicks

About Matt Yoder

Award winning sportswriter at The Comeback and Awful Announcing. The biggest cat in the whole wide world.