I miss those few short days back in March when Charlie Sheen’s insane, drugged-out mind took the world by storm after his blowup with Two and a Half Men.  Has any single person ever been more discussed in a short period of time than Charlie Sheen was?  He was all over the networks, interviewed with everybody, picked up a million followers on Twitter faster than you could say Pedro Cerrano, and briefly became a populist anti-hero.  Let’s take a brief walk down memory lane, shall we…

“I was bangin 7 gram rocks and finishing them because that’s how I roll.  I have one speed and one gear – GO… I got tiger blood man… dying’s for fools, there’s certain blends I will not entertain because that’s how people go down.”

“And then what, what’s the cure, medicine?  Make me like them?  Not gonna happen.  I’m bi-winning.  I win here and I win there.  Now what.”

“I blinked and I cured my brain, that’s how.  Can’t is the cancer of happen.”

Good times indeed.  I still have Can’t Is The Cancer Of Happen plastered on my bedroom wall, great motto to live by.  Well, after the whole Torpedo of Truth tour went by with a collective yawn and the battle to the death with CBS never ensued, the now goddessless Sheen faded from the spotlight.  Sheen’s name is back in the news though after an interesting admission to Sports Illustrated for their “Where Are They Now” issue about the cast of Major League.  The full article is available now in the SI Vault if you’re interested.  Here’s the quote from the New York Daily News… 

“Let’s just say that I was enhancing my performance a little bit,” says Sheen. “It was the only time I ever did steroids. I did them for like six or eight weeks. You can print this, I don’t give a f-. My fastball went from 79 to like 85.”

My God, how many different drugs can one man put into his body and survive?  Interestingly enough, this also may confirm that the Steroid Era in baseball was in full force well before Sosa and McGwire.  Perhaps it wasn’t all Bud Selig’s fault after all.  No word yet on what the roids did for Vaughn’s “new assortment of breaking stuff” in the sequel…

Charlie Sheen admits to using steroids to ‘enhance’ his ‘Major League’ role – New York Daily News

About Matt Yoder

Award winning sportswriter at The Comeback and Awful Announcing. The biggest cat in the whole wide world.

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