David Wells, Michael Strahan, and Bon Jovi keyboardist David Bryan. If we added Phil Rivers, the douche factor would be pinging hard.

Close game as we go into the halftime and the 2nd half. I’ll take three competitive games out of four any playoff weekend you can give me. Nathan Jones stumbles on the kickoff return, down past the 20. Romo starts it off with a handoff to Barber for three. He then hits Witten for a first down just past the marker. Barber gets three more, and Buckbot Junior is talking about Romo’s trip to Mexico, calling it akin to, almost, a “latter-day Broadway Joe,” as Romo hits tight end Anthony Faisano for five on 2nd down.

14-14 at halftime. I’ve seen this movie before…the plucky, much maligned good guy leads the underdog team to victory over the popular kid’s favored douchebaggy team, and then the maligned good guy gets the girl and lives happily ever after.

…until next week when Jessica starts dating Eli and he sets an NFL record for INTs in a game. – NHZ

You might have a plot there. Barber gets outside for the 1st down on 3rd and 2, and gets more on the outside on the next carry. Pitch back to Barber means a loss of two, as the Giants sniff it out. Romo hits Glenn on third down, even as both Buck and Aikman note the difficulty that center Andre Gurode has getting it out on time (I swear there’s been a delay of game that hasn’t been called.) Julius Jones gets two on first down.

Tony Romo picks up 11 when the Giants should have tackled him for a loss in yardage. Now Aikman is telling us “he knows how to play the game.” The Giants defense hasn’t a clue, meanwhile. Barber gets tripped up by Ross, who probably aggravated his shoulder injury making that tackle. Gibril Wilson breaks up the pass to Faisano. False start by Flozelle Adams drives em back to 3rd and 12, and Romo overthrows T.O. Nick Folk comes on for a field goal try, and it’s a good stop for the Giants regardless of whether the kick is good or not. Kick is good though, and it’s 17-14, Cowboys.

I’d advise Coughlin give Eli the go-ahead to work the two-minute drill or go back to the Jacobs/Bradshaw tandem.

according to Troy, Flozelle Adams is the only left tackle in the nfl who goes up against top pass rushers – Anon

Seriously. Domenik Hixon has a great return, bringing the ball out past midfield for the Giants offense. While we’ve got a break, someone in the Deadspin live-blog suggested a game of “Fuck, Marry, Kill” for Romo’s ladies. So, FMK: Carrie Underwood, Jessica Simpson, and Sophia Bush. Go.

Brandon Jacobs just converted a first down. Someone missed an assignment and forgot to block DeMarcus Ware, as he got loose for the sack on Manning. No wonder Eli seems shaky about half the time: if I’ve got O-linemen who won’t even block a top pass rusher…Ware then brings down Jacobs on the next rush after two yards. 3rd and long. No help on third down, and here comes Feagles to punt.

McKenzie as nimble as a brontosaurus. – Mal, referring to the Ware sack.

Feagles punt is a touchback. A penalty drives the Cowboys back inside the 20, and they’re working on 3rd and long now — and Crayton drops the third down pass after it hits him right in the hands.

“Some of these other Cowboys should have gone to Mexico.” – JB

Crayton learned first hand from TO how to drop wide open passes – Anon

McQuarters returns the punt well into Giants territory, gaining 25 yards. Eli hits Amani Toomer for a first down — we’d like to advise both sides that the men in the #81 jerseys are possibly the most dangerous receivers on both sides and they need to be covered. Manning goes for Kevin Boss, and it’s incomplete. Manning does hit Smith for a few to end the third quarter — and then goes back to him to convert 3rd and 6 for a 1st and goal. Ahmad Bradshaw gets around and down to the 1 yard line. Brandon Jacobs gets into the end zone easy. Tynes’ kick is good, 21-17, Giants.

Basically, the Giants are going to have to repeat that until this game ends. It’s a good spot to be in, up by four points. The Cowboys start at about the 11 or so, and MB3 loses a yard on a nice play by the linebacker. A second down pass is incomplete, but Romo avoids the Strahan rush and hits Witten on 3rd down — that’s nine of 12 converted. Cory Webster breaks up the bomb from Romo to Owens, but just can’t work it out as Romo hits Crayton. MB3 only gets a couple at the 43. Romo finally gets sacked for the first time on a rollout, as four Giants surround him. 3rd and 13 — and the Giants get another pass rush, forcing Romo to throw it out of bounds.

McBriar punts and it’s downed at the Giants’ 3 yard line. Jacobs takes the pile with him out to the nine yard line. He gets two on the next play after getting stuffed initially, but the third down pitch is short by a yard, and Feagles will punt. Crayton drops it and falls on it on his own 43.

And four of you made cracks about Crayton’s vaunted hands. Nice job.

Barber gets four yards, out to the 47. McQuarters gets flagged for holding, auto first down.

“You don’t see cowboys making moves like that.” – TA

Down goes Romo again! I think his smile stats are going downward the more the Giants’ pass rush gets closer to him. Romo then hits Witten on 2nd and 24 — and that ball was tipped a little — so it’ll be 3rd and 4. Another catch by Witten, two flags down, one on Dallas for illegal formation — and the second flag for pass interference gets picked up. 3rd and 9. Cory Webster is not having a good day — he breaks up the 3rd down throwgasm, but gets flagged for hands to the face. Yet I don’t see it at all on the replay. Automatic first down.

Romo throws it away, and why aren’t they calling grounding at all? OK, thank you.

Dear Mr. Buck,

Pre-snap penalties nullify penalties that happen after the snap, unless they are personal fouls. Get a clue.

The NFL Rulebook – pm

They probably only called that grounding on Romo to make up for the bullshit hands to the face on Webster. Umenyiora gets a whack at Romo on the next play and it’s incomplete. Play clock runs down, Cowboys timeout.

Worst call of the weekend. What was that???? – Mal

I think if the Colts had won, Norv Turner would be bitching about that phantom hold during the Cromartie INT return. That was the worst one so far. But these two games have been a litany of bad officiating. As Hanrahan noted, that hands to the face was a total bail-out penalty. Romo’s Hail Mary shot to T.O. is incomplete, and the Giants get the ball back on a punt.

Romo in the huddle: “I think it’s time for a little 60 stretch far myahhhhh.” – Hanrahan.

+1 to you, sir. Bradshaw for four yards, then about two more. Eli gets sacked on third down by Tank Johnson, and no one really wants to win this game on the offensive side of the ball. Two minute warning before the punt.

Rob Riggle, please stop trying to convince me that Budweiser is anything other than chilled and carbonated piss. Crayton gets past midfield with 1:50 left. Short pass to Barber for eight, rush to Barber for one. Romo hits Witten inside the 25 yard line. Oh god — the Romo/Favre comparison play. Yeesh. Justin Tuck is hurt, so the Giants do the Cowboys a favor with a time out. False start on the Boys again. Toss to Witten at the side, Dallas has to burn the final time out. Umenyiora whacks Romo on 2nd down, forcing another incompletion.

“Every time Tony Romo’s dropped back in the 4th quarter, he’s been on his back.” – TA, as Romo overthrows Crayton on 3rd down. 4th and 11 here…AND ROMO GETS PICKED BY R.W. MCQUARTERS. Keep the change, Tony.

Jessica has probably text-messaged both Eli and Philip Rivers by this point.

And the kneel down ends it. 21-17, Giants, with both favorites today going down. The Giants move on to Lambeau next week to take on the Packers, and hopefully, we get ourselves another snow game. Thanks for joining me, everyone. See you next week!