FIFA released the “findings” of the ethics investigation into the bids for the 2018 and 2022 World Cup.  For anyone expecting a smoking gun that might disqualify Russia and/or Qatar from hosting duties under the veil of massive corruption… remember who we’re dealing with here.

FIFA refused to publish the full report to the public.  Instead, its published finding are an edited version of the independent investigation by Michael Garcia.  It mounts to a big fat “nothing to see here.

German judge Hans-Joachim Eckert released a 42 page summary of Garcia’s original 430 page document.  And as expected, it clears Russia and Qatar.  In fact, perhaps the biggest villain to emerge is the England bid, which is highly dubious considering the English FA has been most outspoken in their criticism of the process.

According to FIFA, FIFA is most definitely not overrun with corruption and everything is fine.  Which is exactly what you’d expect a corrupt organization to say, right?

Incredibly, Garcia spoke out almost immediately and said the summary of his findings were erroneous and incomplete.  I know you’re as shocked as I am that there could even be the notion that FIFA’s edited findings for public consumption about FIFA’s integrity isn’t on the level.

Beyond the monetary corruption that litters FIFA, it also has to deal with issues of rampant racism plaguing Russian soccer and migrant workers dying in Qatar by the hundreds to build their World Cup palaces.  But according to FIFA, that’s all just peachy, too.

FIFA released their findings on Twitter and the responses were an NSFW dumpster fire of bad PR for the organization.  Keep in mind that these are the responses you see when you click on the official FIFA Media tweets.  As always, these are Real Tweets from Real People..

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All that’s missing now is for Sepp Blatter to step to a podium and say this…

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