Darren Rovell recently left his longtime home at ESPN for The Action Network, who was, in Rovell’s own words, “buying me as a brand,” which is the most Darren Rovell thing to say. The Network added that Rovell is “a tireless promoter of all things,” which is the nicest way to refer to what he does. And to be fair, Rovell always seems to find a way into the conversation, even if that way involves getting into Twitter Wars with journalists or making some truly tasteless hot takes that equate branding with humanity.
While Rovell certainly loves his numbers and values, he might just love playing basketball more. And therein lies the tragedy of Darren Rovell because he is terrible at playing basketball. But he never lets that stop him.
Here he is in 2011, attempting to go one-on-one with Dwyane Wade and failing miserably.
And who could forget the time he put on an Atlanta Hawks uniform and attempted to stop streetball legend Hot Sauce from scoring. (SPOILER: He didn’t stop him).
https://twitter.com/ATLHawks/status/972947537073119232
Given Rovell’s curious style of play, which seems to involve him hunching over and flailing about, you’d think that he’d want to stay away from a basketball court anytime a camera was present from now on. But of course, you know Darren Rovell isn’t going to let his dream die like that.
Going into the history books today, baby. Ten years after I played the @globies on the @TheGenerals , I will become one of the few who also played for the Globetrotters. Madison Square Garden at 12:30 pm ET. pic.twitter.com/54Mn6ZOvqK
— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) December 27, 2018
Thursday, Rovell showed up at Madison Square Garden and signed a “three-minute contract” with the famed Harlem Globetrotters for the chance to sully their good name. He’d already sullied the bad name of the Washington Generals ten years ago, so it seemed eventual.
However, Rovell did bucks the odds and score two points during his brief stint. Of course, he still looked like Darren Rovell doing it…so maybe it only should have counted as one.
All you fools (70%) who bet against me, I hit the over. 2 points on 1-4 shooting. pic.twitter.com/6nflcroFmL
— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) December 27, 2018
As you might imagine (or partook in yourself), Twitter was unkind to Darren’s efforts.
DARREN!! pic.twitter.com/pnu6kO540H
— Tommy Darcey (@TDarc13) December 27, 2018
FIXED.
— Odds Shark (@OddsShark) December 27, 2018
You couldn’t try to look more unathletic
— Aidan (@aidanl212) December 27, 2018
Rovell is, of course, immune to the criticism. He tends to see it under the umbrella of “there’s no such thing as bad PR.” And we suppose in this case he’s right. The Globetrotters, which you may or may not have forgotten are a thing, got some press. Darren popped back up in the conversation. We’re writing about him, his antics, and his “brand.”
Is Darren Rovell the monster? Or are we the monster for bringing attention to his terrible basketball prowess? And seriously, why do 2.03 million people follow him on Twitter? These are life’s great conundrums.
About Sean Keeley
Along with writing for Awful Announcing and The Comeback, Sean is the Managing Editor for Comeback Media. Previously, he created the Syracuse blog Troy Nunes Is An Absolute Magician and wrote 'How To Grow An Orange: The Right Way to Brainwash Your Child Into Rooting for Syracuse.' He has also written non-Syracuse-related things for SB Nation, Curbed, and other outlets. He currently lives in Seattle where he is complaining about bagels. Send tips/comments/complaints to sean@thecomeback.com.