John Kruk remains America’s finest philosopher
"How did that person know what time it was?"
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John Kruk learned a lot about what it takes to rip a human being’s ear off
"If you can open up a pickle jar, you can rip their ear off."
Phillies announcers thank Twins for Jhoan Duran trade after closer’s awesome entrance
"Thank you to the Twins for passing this on to the Phillies."
John Kruk throws shade at Angel Reese during Phillies-White Sox broadcast
"We'll be getting some tweets about that, I'm sure."
Listen: Phillies, Red Sox announcers react to ‘bizarre’ walk-off catcher’s interference
"BASEBALL IS AMAZING."
Listen to Giants, Phillies announcers call of Patrick Bailey’s inside-the-park walk-off home run
"Oh, my goodness. I did not see that coming."
John Kruk, Tom McCarthy discuss words like ‘thrillionaire’ and ‘rizz’
"I wonder who came up with, like, words."
NBC Sports Philadelphia offers touching tribute to producer John DiSangro
"They don't make people like him anymore, who balanced loyalty with a diligence and a work ethic that was truly unmatched."
John Kruk tells Phillie Phanatic to ‘get your a** out of my face’
This is hardly the first time Kruk has garnered laughs from broadcasting partner Tom McCarthy.
Self-proclaimed ‘sociopath’ John Kruk needs a dictionary
"I don’t know what empathy means, but I’m sure sociopath would come into the conversation speaking about myself."
John Kruk shared news of SEC breaking away from the NCAA during Phillies broadcast
"Did I just read something that the SEC is breaking away from the NCAA and becoming their own entity?"
Tom McCarthy eulogized ‘POOP’ scorebug before Pirates-Phillies game
"As the final out arrives on its bright and brilliant run, it will be missed. Gone but never forgotten."
John Kruk says “I hopes he chokes” in response to a text from Tom McCarthy’s Mets-broadcasting son
"Since he's a Mets' fan, I hope he chokes a little bit. But since he's your son, I hope it's not fatal."
John Kruk cracked Tom McCarthy up while briefly taking over play-by-play duties
Never change, John Kruk.
On Titanic anniversary, Phillies broadcaster evokes famous shipwreck during Nick Castellanos homer
"That is a Titanic blast."
John Kruk complains during Phillies game about being locked out of his email
"When I try to reset the password, I go to the new one and it doesn't do anything."
Debbie Antonelli implores official to ‘speed it up’ after marathon goaltending explanation
"Maybe speed it up a little."
John Kruk extols the virtues of drinking in Montreal
"It's a great place to drink, Tom. Montreal."
John Kruk suggests Cole Hamels for ‘sexiest broadcast team in all of sports’
"Oh, I forgot to add him in to the sexiest broadcast team in all of sports."
JJ Watt and CBS pull off epic troll on Titans with fake studio update
"Guys this must be a mistake, but I'm going to do it anyway."
John Kruk scares kid next to Phillies broadcast booth while Tom McCarthy cracks up
"You scared him...You scared the poor kid."
Phillies’ Tom McCarthy invites Caitlin Clark to booth after viral TikTok
You have a future. And by the way, any down time you have, you're up in the booth."
Phillies announcers aghast over upheld replay call: ‘What on Earth?’
"I can't remember the last time something this bad — and blatant — took place on replay."
John Kruk calls Kevin Cash’s suspension ‘dumbest damn rule I’ve ever heard’
"I think that's the dumbest damn rule I've ever heard."
John Kruk takes hilarious dig at Jamie Moyer
"Jamie [Moyer]'s so old, Brad might be digging him up."
