Coleen Rooney has been married to Wayne for over a decade, and therefore has spent plenty of time in the tabloids. Lately, though, she’s been featured in more personal stories, which would seemingly have had to come from a source close to her.

Or they would have, had Coleen not been making them up in order to conduct a leak investigation, one which she concluded today via a Twitter statement.

Honestly, it’s tough to not just sit back in awe of the time and effort she put in here. That the alleged leaker ended up being the wife of another English player (in this case Jamie Vardy) only guaranteed more tabloid headlines, of course, but if ever there were a story worthy of them it’s this one. (That it’s a story that also exposes the inherently dubious nature of places like The Sun is also fun.)

Rebekah Vardy, meanwhile, denies all charges, claiming instead that if it was her account she’d been hacked:

It’s going to be tough to explain it away, though, because Coleen’s chain of evidence seems tight enough to at least earn a conviction in the court of public opinion.

About Jay Rigdon

Jay is a columnist at Awful Announcing. He is not a strong swimmer. He is probably talking to a dog in a silly voice at this very moment.