There’s a crowded field of terrible advertisements this fall. No, I’m not talking about the Stockholm Syndrome Peloton ad nor the haunting dead grandma iPad commercial. I’m not even here to pile on about why we don’t need any more milquetoast Aaron Rodgers State Farm spots. That’s been done. No, I’m talking about something far more sinister: Baker Mayfield and Progressive have joined forces and they’re terrorizing my dogs.

In this 42-second canine horror movie, Mayfield meanders around First Energy Stadium haplessly trying to locate a beeping smoke alarm. The result? My dogs (2007-Britney-Spears-Dog as well as Niles-Crane-Spirit-Animal-Dog) going absolutely mental until the next commercial break.

They are united in hating this commercial

And it’s not just my dogs, it’s yours as well.

There is a petition on the matter, as well as direct appeals to PETA, Progressive, and Mayfield himself to pull the commercial from air:

Twitter user @dj20801 (above) raises an excellent point. As a person who, not three months ago, found herself balancing precariously on a stool atop a nightstand at 4 AM trying to quiet a chirping alarm, I will also agree that the general sentiment of “remember to change your batteries, you bunch of morons” is a good one. However, Progressive is building zero goodwill in the dog-lover customer segment:

The fact that this commercial was greenlit in the first place shows a blind spot for Progressive (too focused on the Dawg Check and not focused enough on the dog check?). And I’d like to go on record and say, on behalf of dog owners everywhere, we don’t need any of the following campaigns:

  • Baker Mayfield sets off fireworks in an upcoming Fourth of July homeowner’s insurance ad.
  • Baker Mayfield takes a walk in a thunderstorm to illustrate the importance of life insurance.
  • Baker Mayfield joins a motorcycle gang after getting kick-ass auto coverage.

Progressive, I am happy to consult on future projects. Now take down that commercial before I get kicked out of my apartment.

About Jill Cowan

Jill earned an honorary degree in sports snark from Twitter University. She resides in the San Francisco Bay Area, where she spends the fall months at Stanford Stadium. Jill loves flea flickers, Spider 3 Y Banana, and Jim Harbaugh rage. She detests visors and The Wave.