Tony Gonzalez, October Gonzalez hope to explore bigger conversations on new podcast

Tony Gonzalez has a bust in the Pro Football Hall of Fame as one of the NFL’s best-ever tight ends. Now, he’s stacking his media resume. As Gonzalez enters his fifth season as an analyst on Amazon Prime Video’s Thursday Night Football, he’s a rookie in the relationship podcasting game. Luckily, he has the perfect teammate.

On Tuesday, Gonzalez and his wife, October Gonzalez, a star TV host and personality in her own right, premiered their No Safe Words podcast on iHeartMedia’s My Cultura network. The show is produced by iHeartMedia and SMAC Productions, but nothing about it is scripted. New No Safe Words episodes will drop every Tuesday on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

Below, we caught up with the Gonzalezes on how they arrived here, why they want to get personal in the public eye, and what to expect next.

Note: This interview has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.

Why do a relationship podcast?

October Gonzalez: “Obviously, we’re married. We’ve been married for 20 years. We’ve raised a family and had experiences literally in every shape of what a family might look like. A blended family, took my niece in and raised her for 10 years, have our kids, stepkids. There’s not much that we haven’t lived through. I think the conversation around how we make it work, mistakes that we’ve made, learning from our guests, we just wanted to talk about it in a more candid way.

“There’s a lot of experts out there, but we don’t feel like anybody really understands or can truly speak on certain things that they haven’t lived through. That’s something that we feel like we can bring to the table: our experience, because we have so much of it. Also, the way that we communicate with each other and raise our family was a bit unconventional. I think that we are very open, honest, and blunt. We have a funny way of talking things out, working things out, that we think audiences will enjoy.”

Tony Gonzalez: “To piggyback off that, I think, morally, we’re always pretty much aligned. But opinion-wise, her opinions usually are a little bit different than mine. So it’s not like we’re sitting here telling everybody on a high horse, ‘Oh, well this works, this works.’ Because there’s a lot of things that her and I don’t agree on, but we find a compromise in finding a solution. That’s why I think it’s good, too. You’re getting two different opinions.”

Given that you’ve lived in the public eye for decades, does it appeal to you to have control over your own narrative?

Tony Gonzalez: “I would say 100%. I mean, that’s the beauty of it, I think. Being able to control that narrative, put it in our own style, in our own way. Creating a safe space for the guests that we have. I know this for sure: when it comes to Tobie, my wife, she’s very good at making people feel comfortable and feel seen, and being able to say whatever they want to say in a fun way. Hopefully, when people listen, they’re going to be entertained, they’re going to have some fun, but at the same time, they’re going to learn something, too. She’s very good at bringing that out.”

Who approached who about doing it?

October Gonzalez: “Oh, definitely me. I approached Tony. He’s done a podcast. He doesn’t need to do these things. He’s so busy. I’ve always been a talker. Don’t get it twisted: He is a talker. He can’t help himself. And I thought, we sit in our kitchen every frickin’ morning, having coffee and talking for hours. Literally, maybe an hour and a half to two hours every morning for 20 years. And it’s like, why not? We’re just working through things, working life out, working out our hopes, our dreams, our goals, our disagreements. Everyone tells us we’re so funny, and it’s so interesting how we do all of this. Why not put that on camera? Why not try to help other people recognize there’s ways to work it out, and they’re not alone in working those things out? They’re not alone in disagreeing with their spouse and going through life. I felt like the way we do it is special, and we have something important to share that I think will help other people.”

Tony Gonzalez: “We’re also very curious. I think that’s why we’re able to talk to each other. Tobie is very curious, and I feel like I’m very curious, too. We don’t think we know every damn thing. I want to learn, too. And we try to keep an open mind. Even the few episodes that we’ve [recorded] so far, there’s always two ways to do things. There was one couple who came on and said, ‘Go to bed mad. It’s fine. Go ahead’  And the other couple came on and said, ‘Well, we try not to go to bed mad. We always try to figure it out before we go to sleep.’ So it’s good to learn and for people to see, hey, there’s not just one way of doing things because [an] expert says so. Screw that. I don’t give a damn.”

It sounds to me like you guys are replacing relationship advice with relationship conversations because there is no one-size-fits-all piece of advice.

October Gonzalez: “One hundred percent.”

 

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How did the concept for No Safe Words come to be?

October Gonzalez: “In the beginning, Tony was like, ‘Why are we doing this?’ And I’m just like, ‘I think we have something important to say, something important to share, something that’s different.’ I said to him, ‘You don’t have to do anything. I’m going to drag you. I don’t even want you to know what the topics of discussion are.’ Tony, his best reactions and his best input comes instinctually. He gives the best answers, and quite frankly, the funniest moments when he’s just off the top of his head.

“I love the idea of no safe words because there’s nothing that you can say that’s going to be judged. There’s nothing that you can say that’s going to be weird. And we’re going to ask maybe some questions that you haven’t been asked before that are maybe a little bit uncomfortable, and you don’t necessarily have to answer them. But this is a free and open space to discuss whatever the hell you want to talk about when it comes to relationships, raising kids, family, divorce, all of it.”

Tony, even before Thursday Night Football, you had your Wide Open podcast. On the debut episode, you said that October had urged you to do it three years prior, but you were “too chicken.” Can you take me back and share what nerves you had about entering broadcasting and podcasting?

Tony Gonzalez: “I have a little bit of imposter syndrome always. Even when I played football. I’m a little more insecure about, okay, why the hell would anybody want to hear from me? Before this podcast, when it was first brought up, I was like, why would we do something like this? There’s plenty of other people out there doing stuff, and everybody’s got a podcast nowadays and all that.

“But I think that’s where Tobie has been a real good partner with me where she’s like, ‘What do you care? Stop taking it so serious and just go out there and let it rip and see what happens. You never know.’ So that was kind of why I didn’t do the Wide Open podcast earlier. We have been talking about [No Safe Words]. She had pitched this to me a while ago, based off of that interview I had with her. People were like, ‘Wow, you guys had such a good conversation.’ I think that might’ve been the most-watched episode of the Wide Open podcast — the one with her and I. That and the Mike Tyson one, so that’s good company.

“Obviously, people liked our dynamic, and that was another [boost]. Like, well sh*t, maybe people want to hear what we have to say. That’s what it is, too. We have to make sure people enjoy listening to what her and I have to say and they’ll enjoy our opinions. And that’s where I get a little insecure sometimes. I’m like, ‘Well, what if people don’t like our opinions?’ October, she don’t give a sh*t.”

October Gonzalez: “Yeah, he has imposter syndrome, and I have whatever the opposite of that is. I’ve never walked into a room where I’m not like, ‘This feels right.'”

What is your hope for No Safe Words?

October Gonzalez: “Well, our hope is that this creates bigger conversation around perfectionism and open-mindedness. I think cancel culture is on its way out. I think kids and the new generation, it’s not about being perfect. It’s not about getting it exactly right or everything being so buttoned-up. It’s about being empathetic towards people. I want to create a space that is encouraging of that. In the social media space, in whatever public space. Politics, religion, all of it. There just needs to be a more unison understanding and conversation that’s easier to have. And I hope that we can create that space.”

Tony Gonzalez: “And I hope that people see that it’s real. They have fun listening to us. They can perhaps learn something. And then in the back end, they have fun again. So it’s got to be entertaining and interesting and truthful. No bullsh*t. No one’s trying to be perfect, like October just said. This is our most natural self. We’re not going to hide. I mean, some things obviously will be left off camera occasionally, but most of it, we’re pretty open, honest people. What you see is what you get.”

Tony, what do you anticipate will be more difficult: analyzing football on Thursday Night Football or discussing relationships on this podcast?

Tony Gonzalez: “Oh, geez. Probably football. The relationship stuff, I enjoy talking about it. Like October said, we talk about it in the morning a lot over coffee. We’re just kind of bringing that conversation in front of a camera now and some microphones, and we’ll have some people with us once in a while. And football’s kind of the same thing for me. I mean, I enjoy talking about football. I would be doing it anyway if I didn’t have a television show for Thursday Night Football. And so yeah, I guess equal. I anticipate both being equal.”

What are you looking forward to the most about this upcoming Thursday Night Football season?

Tony Gonzalez: “Well, our crowd has been growing and growing every single year. More people are tuning in. They love the broadcast, from the bottom to the top. I just love it. We just keep getting better and better, and our crew is going on our fifth year together, so I’m looking real forward to just hanging out with them because they’re fun. And you can tell that when you watch our show. You can tell that we all like each other. We’re good friends, and I don’t think every show out there has that. We text each other all the time. We see each other during the offseason occasionally. So that’s what makes our show so good. Plus, just being on the road, watching the NFL football.”

Will there be any crossover of Thursday Night Football co-hosts as guests on your podcast?

Tony Gonzalez: “Maybe. I want to bring everybody on there. I would love to have Charissa [Thompson] on there to talk about her relationships and what she’s been through. She’s very open and candid. Yeah, absolutely, I’d eventually love to have them.”

What can people look forward to from No Safe Words as it hits their podcast feeds today?

October Gonzalez: “I want everyone to look forward to having a good time. This isn’t a serious podcast. This isn’t about us going deep and trying and doing all those things. I mean, if that happens, it happens, but this is about looking at life through the lens of it’s not that serious. Life is funny. If you don’t laugh, you cry.”