Maybe the cardinal sin of sports punditry is to never compare your own experience as a non-professional athlete to that of a professional athlete.
Now, comparing your own basketball pickup games to that of perhaps the greatest basketball player of all time? That’s grounds for dismissal. Unless, of course, you’re the self-employed Bill Simmons.
During the latest episode of The Bill Simmons Podcast, recorded in front of a live audience in Denver, Simmons and his colleague Ryen Russillo engaged in their usual NBA banter. But about an hour in, things went a little off the rails.
“I had a run in pickup when I was in my early 40s where I really tried to keep it going,” Simmons began. “And then eventually, you start learning all these tricks to survive in a pickup game when you’re old. And LeBron’s doing a lot of those tricks now where I’m like, ‘I used to do that.’ Where he’d be like, on defense, under the basket…and he’s just not covering ground.”
“This is the worst comparison you’ve ever made,” Russillo deadpanned.
“Look! I can tell when somebody’s trying to conserve their energy on a basketball court because I did it!” Simmons replied.
“Yeah, but you could’ve done it without comparing it to your pickup game in the ’40s,” Russillo clapped back.
“I’m an only child! What do you want?” Simmons joked.
“I hope someone that despises you tweets that you said this in the show tonight, with no context whatsoever. I might even retweet it,” Russillo said.
Well, Mr. Russillo, that happened.
As per @ryenarussillo request:
Bill Simmons EVISCERATED by Ryen Russillo after comparing his basketball game to LeBron’s
Russillo: “This is the worst comparison you’ve ever made” pic.twitter.com/9VRrI0T5dc
— The r/BillSimmons Podcast (@rBillSimmonsPod) December 5, 2024
And now the ridiculous comparison is making its rounds online.
You have to give Simmons credit; this is him in his peak 2020s form. He’s not saying anything that some average schmuck isn’t already while they’re watching the game on a couch at home. And it’s funny! There’s a place for that in sports media. Not everything has to be serious analysis.
If Simmons thinks that LeBron is pulling the same tricks he sees from 40-year-old dudes in his rec center, by all means, he should say it.
