The Philadelphia Eagles are among the most successful NFL franchises of the 21st century, coming off their second Super Bowl championship in eight seasons. So whatever they’re doing is working.
That appears to include their ownership and front office making weird sex analogies at inappropriate times.
On Wednesday, NFL owners voted against a proposal that would have effectively banned the “tush push” play the Eagles have made famous in recent years. This was the second time the controversial play had come up for a vote, and many thought it would be banned this time. However, the vote fell just short of the 75% threshold needed.
The Athletic’s Dianna Russini recapped what Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie did behind the scenes to ensure the tush push would live another day. She reported that Lurie and other Philadelphia front-office officials had recently contacted other teams to drum up support against Green Bay’s proposal to ban the play. Wednesday morning, Lurie made his final pitch, pointing out that “it’s the safest play in the history of the game” before offering a crude analogy.
Per Russini:
One high-ranking league source who was in the room said, “Lurie was like a guy trying to convince his girlfriend why she shouldn’t leave him.” Throughout his pitch, Lurie was emotional, passionate and — at one point — crude. He said the fact that his team came up with a play so unstoppable that the rest of the league had no other choice but to try to ban it was “like a wet dream for a teenage boy.” Toward the end of his address, he told the assembled owners that, regardless of the day’s result, he and his franchise would walk out winners, with Super Bowl rings to show for it.
That’s certainly one way of thinking about it. It’s also par for the course when Eagles brass talks about their team.
After Philly defeated the Kansas City Chiefs to win the Super Bowl this past season, Eagles general manager Howie Roseman tried to explain what it feels like to win two championships.
“The first one…it’s almost like the first time you have sex,” Roseman said on The McShay Show. “You are so glad you had sex it’s not even the quality of it. The second time, it’s like ‘Wow, I can actually have fun and enjoy this.'”
We don’t disagree with either statement. We’re just pointing out that, much like Packers coach Matt LaFleur always seems to have urine on the brain, Philadelphia’s front office has a one-track mind.
About Sean Keeley
Along with writing for Awful Announcing and The Comeback, Sean is the Managing Editor for Comeback Media. Previously, he created the Syracuse blog Troy Nunes Is An Absolute Magician and wrote 'How To Grow An Orange: The Right Way to Brainwash Your Child Into Rooting for Syracuse.' He has also written non-Syracuse-related things for SB Nation, Curbed, and other outlets. He currently lives in Seattle where he is complaining about bagels. Send tips/comments/complaints to sean@thecomeback.com.