Mike Valenti loses it over ‘awful’ Super Bowl commercials: America wants ‘beer, boobs, burgers, laughter’

Detroit sports radio host Mike Valenti may not have thought the Super Bowl commercials were as bad as Tom Brady was on Sunday, but they were pretty close.

In an audience of nearly 130 million people across America, it was probably only Philadelphia Eagles fans who will have something good to say about the Super Bowl LIX broadcast on Fox. For Valenti, a New York Giants fan, everything about Sunday evening was terrible. The game, the halftime show, the “malignant narcissist” Tom Brady, and the commercials.

“It was the least entertained I’ve ever been in any Super Bowl in my lifetime. It was horrific. And the ads? Enough,” Valenti ranted to co-host Rico Beard on their 97.1 The Ticket afternoon show. “Tom Brady and Snoop, what a waste of money…I’m sorry, if you were catering to an ardent racist somewhere, newsflash, you didn’t change anybody’s mind. There’s a waste of 8 million bucks. I don’t need to hear about girls’ flag football in all 50 states. Not interested! I do not need ads for Jesus. Literal Jesus! What are we doing? $8 million a pop? If you are not a religious person, those commercials didn’t make you start.”

While we’re on the topic of commercials, none were worse than Kanye West’s, but that ad only aired Los Angeles, Philadelphia and Atlanta. Not Detroit, which is where Valenti presumably watched from.

“How about this: beer, boobs, burgers, laughter. That’s America. What are we doing? The commercials were awful. The only one I liked was the sloth commercial. Which may as well have been filmed in this office,” Valenti continued. “Make me laugh. Stop with this crap. Jesus! Literally, Jesus! He gets us, I get it! $24 million on religion? In a Super Bowl?! Was he in the room when you told him the ad spend? I’d be pretty pissed if I was the big guy upstairs.”

Safe to say Valenti is probably a pretty big fan of Carl’s Jr. right about now. Sunday was a success for the NFL in terms of viewership. But as far as the commercials, the broadcast, and especially the product on the field was concerned, Super Bowl LIX was a big letdown. And when the game is bad, it inherently makes everything around it appear that much worse.