Chris Russo wasn't a fan of Netflix's Tom Brady roast. Screengrab: ESPN’s ‘First Take’

It’s Wednesday, so that means Chris “Mad Dog” Russo is mad about something.

As he tends to his swollen meniscus, he’s received an influx of phone calls praising the Tom Brady roast on Netflix. Naturally, he wants to see for himself what he is missing.

And without missing a beat, Russo is apoplectic with rage as he rails against how “garbage” the roast is.

“Kevin Hart, you’re not that funny,” said Russo. “OK? Sorry. Jeff Ross coming in with this freaking O.J. (Simpson) thing on No. 32 — you’re not that funny, either. The girl (Nikki Glaser) is not that funny. Randy Moss stunk. (Julian) Edelman’s not funny. (Drew) Bledsoe’s not that bad — he was the only one. How does Brady subject himself to that nonsense? And I am not a prude, OK? I can deal with the language, but I mean enough, Rodney Dangerfield.

“That was the worst piece of garbage I’ve seen in a long period of time. That was worthless. And you got Bob Kraft, who should be sitting home, eating cookies, and watching I Love Lucy reruns before he hits the sack. (He’s) sitting there watching this; he’s 85 years old. Bob, act your age for crying out loud! What we’re gonna out there and make fun of Gisele for four hours? This is the idea here? We’re gonna sit here and kill (Rob) Gronkowski? I understand he’s a bag of rocks, but enough of them killing Gronkowski. Leave him alone, for crying out loud — it’s not that funny!

“How did anybody spend money for that nonsense? That was a piece of garbage…Enough with the language. Kevin Hart, I don’t care if he’s 5-foot-1, enough of that too! Here’s the bottom line: You can use all the humor you want and all the bad language you want — be funny, be funny. Nobody, nobody, nobody in America was funny. It was the worst piece of garbage I’ve ever seen in my life. And you know what? Jeff Ross, take it easy, alright? You’re not funny, either. I wouldn’t go pay for Jeff Ross — none of them. I could do a better job than that. Awful.”

Sometimes, we have to let contrarians be contrarians. And Russo is the master at his craft when he’s going against groupthink. There was zero chance Russo thought it would be funny before he tuned in to watch it, which just made his rant even better. At least Gisele isn’t alone in being offended by it all.

Love or hate him, “Mad Dog” always delivers every Wednesday on First Take.

[First Take on X]

About Sam Neumann

Since the beginning of 2023, Sam has been a staff writer for Awful Announcing and The Comeback. A 2021 graduate of Temple University, Sam is a Charlotte native, who currently calls Greenville, South Carolina his home. He also has a love/hate relationship with the New York Mets and Jets.