The NBA world was having a relatively quiet day by recent standards, what with no franchise owner being forced to sell after decades of problematic behavior finally reached a tipping point.
Then, at 10:35 PM Eastern time, ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski did what he often does: dropped a Twitter bomb that sent the sports world into a veritable frenzy.
ESPN Sources: Boston Celtics coach Ime Udoka is facing possible disciplinary action – including a significant suspension – for an unspecified violation of organizational guidelines. Discussions are ongoing within the Celtics on a final determination. pic.twitter.com/1QZb0k326F
— Adrian Wojnarowski (@wojespn) September 22, 2022
That is JUST vague enough to lead to immediate, rampant speculation as to the nature of Ime Udoka’s violations of organizational guidelines. Woj didn’t offer much more, although his general outline of “job not in jeopardy” but strong disciplinary actions on the table led to some obvious conclusions, as did the fact that there were no court records being suddenly flashed across Twitter.
At 12:50 AM Eastern, Shams Charania reported the nature of Udoka’s misconduct: a consensual relationship with a staff member.
Celtics coach Ime Udoka had an improper intimate and consensual relationship with a female member of the team staff, sources tell @TheAthletic @Stadium. It’s been deemed a violation of franchise’s code of conduct.
— Shams Charania (@ShamsCharania) September 22, 2022
Woj later added that a season-long suspension isn’t out of the question.
No final decision has been made on the length of a suspension, but internal discussions have included scenarios that would keep Udoka out for the entirety of the 2022-2023 season, sources told ESPN. https://t.co/Vnn2wWVcKA
— Adrian Wojnarowski (@wojespn) September 22, 2022
Plenty of people who jumped to this conclusion in the wake of Woj’s tweets (and ESPN.com piece) looked prescient, of course, and the dueling reports serve as yet another entry in the storied Woj vs. Shams rivalry. Obviously, no one is more plugged in than those two reporters, give or take a random Brian Windhorst dramatic monologue; if Woj and Shams aren’t publishing anything, then no one would be.
At least you’d think that! But one Twitter account had the whole story all at once.
if there’s one person who will never get fired for sleeping around, it’s ime udoka
— juan benet ramsey (@hijab_creator) September 22, 2022
Not only did “juan benet ramsey” have most of the story, including the nature of the misconduct, which was the thing everyone wanted to know in the wake of the Woj tweet, but they beat Woj to Twitter by more than an hour.
This tweet started to take off shortly after Woj’s report, presumably after people searched Udoka’s name on Twitter. The timestamp didn’t lie, and this isn’t a clout-chasing burner account, randomly guessing transactions or news items ahead of time in hopes of being right once and building some sort of hollow following.
No, this was actual knowledge, which means it’s a banner day in the history of burner accounts.
From there, things get even more interesting, as Twitter attempted to unmask the burner owner. To be clear, this part of the story is somewhat less appealing; it’s tempting to just leave the mystery where it is, and if you want to stop reading right now, you could make a strong case you’d be better off.
But in the interest of capital-J journalism: here’s a series of tweets that make compelling cases for a few candidates.
They’re from LA I think. Nithya Raman is a member of Los Angeles City Council pic.twitter.com/DgbzthsrAZ
— Fukkah ☘️ (@FukkahRX) September 22, 2022
These are all the people who donated $19 to her on 12/31/2019 pic.twitter.com/TOgAOsOWrS
— Conor Levis (@ConorLevis) September 22, 2022
Again, this is just pure Twitter speculation. They certainly make a compelling case for a few names just on that list, too.
No doubt. Mans co-produced a Rodman doc. Only of the 5 with an apparent NBA tie
— NFL Network’s Top Fumbler of All Time (@CarrotMcmuffin) September 22, 2022
But it’s comedian Nick Ciarelli who feels like the best candidate:
Feel like it’s got to be. Also if you look at his tweets he aligns politically.
— Ed’s Mimosa Tower (@edsmimosatower) September 22, 2022
Nick Ciarelli the comedian follows Bill Simmons and this burner account has a Simmons podcast tweet so could also be him. No idea about any NBA tie though.
— Conor Levis (@ConorLevis) September 22, 2022
The circumstantial evidence is strong to this point, and a liked tweet of the burner account might push it over the top, were we forced to guess who’s behind the burner (which we would never do because a little mystery makes life endlessly more intriguing):
— aych (@hqtred) September 22, 2022
Regardless of the person behind the mask, let’s take a moment to applaud whoever out there heard a bit of NBA goss from sources reliable enough to know it was true and decided to toss it onto a burner account, where it went big very quickly, sort of beating the top NBA newsbreakers to the punch. Sure, this didn’t require actual journalistic approaches to sourcing and verification.
But when you’re right, you’re right.
What a day for burner accounts.
