Bill Simmons learns of Jaylen Brown trade after waking up from colonoscopy: ‘I think I’m dead’

The Jaylen Brown era of Boston Celtics basketball has come to an end, with the Cs trading Brown to the Philadelphia 76ers in exchange for Paul George, a 2028 first-round pick, a 2031 first-round picks, and two second-round picks, ESPN’s Senior NBA insider Shams Charania reported on Monday.

The trade was widely viewed by fans and pundits as a loss for Boston, which will lose last season’s sixth-place finisher in MVP voting and 2024 Finals MVP for a player on the back-end of his career, and what figures to be non-premium draft picks. Now, The Ringer founder Bill Simmons, a Boston sports and NBA megafan, is sharing his initial reaction to the trade, which apparently went down while he was under anesthesia.

“I had just woken up from anesthesia, and I’m not, as you guys know, not really coherent,” Simmons said, explaining he had just woken up from a colonoscopy when his wife informed him of the trade.

Bill Simmons describes hearing about the Jaylen Brown trade from his wife picking him up from a colonoscopy:

“I think I’m dead. The anesthesia killed me. Are there more first round picks?

When this trade happened I had a camera in my ass, and I had Paul George rammed up my ass” pic.twitter.com/sSZLVujEga

— The r/BillSimmons Podcast (@rBillSimmonsPod) July 2, 2026

“And I’m like, ‘Where’d he go?’ And she’s like, ‘To Philly for Paul George and two first-round picks.’ And I’m like, ‘I think I’m dead. I think I died. Anesthesia killed me, and now I’m a dead person.’ And I’m like, and I’m just trying to process it. And I, it’s, you know, it’s like I have a head injury and I’m like, is there more? Are there more first-round picks?”

Simmons went on to talk about how his daughter, a Brown fan, was upset with the news, before giving a blunt and crude summary of his experience on Monday.

“So when this trade happened at 3:20 Pacific time, I had a camera in my ass, and I had Paul George being rammed up my ass. And that was happening at the same time. And that’s how I’m going to remember July 1st, 2026.”