Phillies fans were hit with an unexpected dose of existentialism in the early innings of Tuesday night’s 5–0 win over the Nationals.
The scene in the broadcast booth started out rather ordinary, with Phillies play-by-play man Tom McCarthy and color commentator Jon Kruk wondering aloud about Washington’s decision to employ an opener in pitcher Carson Palmquist to face the start of the Phillies’ lineup before bringing in Zack Little after just a single out was recorded. Little would go on to pitch through the seventh inning.
“Someday somebody will have to explain it to us,” McCarthy said. “I guess part of it is that he comes in sometimes against the bottom of the order, so maybe it builds confidence because he gets the first few guys out?”
“I hope I’m long gone before that day comes — before we get that explanation,” Kruk responded. “It might make sense.”
So far, so good. That’s just two old-school baseball guys lamenting the days when being a starting pitcher used to really mean something. Totally fair and reasonable take. They continued.
“If I do get it though, I’m going to somehow figure out how I can get it to you,” McCarthy said of a potential explanation for the opener, choosing to keep things on the side of life with his broadcast partner. Kruk refused to take the exit ramp provided to him.
“Yeah, just stick it in my casket,” Kruk said. “Unless I get cremated. Then just put it in with me when they set me on fire, baby.”
That quote would have been enough to earn this post, but Kruk had more in the tank.
“I’ve got a funny story about an urn I’ll have to tell you when we’re not on the air,” Kruk teased McCarthy. “It’s a good one.”
“Just stick it in my casket, unless I get cremated. Then just put it in with me when they set me on fire, baby… I’ve got a funny story about an urn I’ll have to tell you when we’re not on the air.” – John Kruk on his potential funereal plans 🔥 pic.twitter.com/7LOUn3M1Qd
— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) August 5, 2026
If we’re lucky, Kruk will share the urn story on air anyway.
Kruk is one of our great modern philosophers of the broadcast booth. He is constantly fascinated, be it by the English language, the logistics of space travel, or Elmo.
He also apparently has a great story about an urn, though it sounds like we might have to wait a while to hear it.
About Tyler Lauletta
Tyler is a editorial contributor at Awful Announcing, with previous stops at Sports Illustrated and Business Insider during his career covering sports in digital media. He is, begrudgingly, a Truster of the Process and general Philly sports sicko.