Watching the Chicago White Sox set back baseball years and years is going to cause Ozzie Guillén to lose his mind.
The former manager is nearly there as he’d almost certainly rather sit on a cactus than have to watch Major League Baseball’s worst team reach new lows each and every night. And after the White Sox snapped a 14-game losing streak with consecutive wins over the Red Sox this past weekend, they’ve started a new losing streak.
It’s only at two games, but Monday night’s loss to the Seattle Mariners is perhaps one of the season’s worst thus far. For seven innings, Erick Fedde pitched an absolute gem. After spending the 2023 season in the KBO, the 31-year-old Fedde has rebounded to be arguably Chicago’s best player this season.
On Monday, he allowed just four hits through seven innings, striking out four with a walk. He entered the bottom of the eighth inning having thrown 92 pitches. His 93rd pitch was hit 413 feet into the center field bleachers at T-Mobile Park by Dominic Canzone.
That was the last pitch Fedde would throw. And by the time Canzone came up to the plate again in the home half of the eighth, the score was tied. Michael Kopech blew the game wide open, only to pass the baton to Jordan Leasure, who surrendered a walk-off Grand Slam off the bat of Cal Raleigh.
“THERE IT IS RIGHT THERE. HE CRUSHES IT. AND THE MARINERS ARE GOING HOME A WINNER. A THREE-RUN JACK BY BIG DUMPER, CAL RALEIGH. IT’S A 7-4 MARINERS VICTORY.”
Dave Sims on the call for Cal Raleigh’s walkoff grand slam to give the Mariners an 8-4 win. pic.twitter.com/ec1VeQespZ
— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) June 11, 2024
The White Sox’s postgame show, which has turned into appointment television at this rate, has also become a spectacle of despair. With the team’s record at a dismal 17-50, reporter Chuck Garfien resorted to crawling on set, while Guillén held a cactus aloft in a bizarre display of frustration.
Late Night with Chuck and Ozzie devolved into Guillén nearly sitting on a cactus, as he joked it might hurt less than watching the White Sox blow a 4-0 with six outs left to record.
“OK. A cactus. I’m gonna sit on it. That might hurt a little less than what I just watched.”
Chuck Garfien and Ozzie Guillen are going through it on Late Night with Chuck and Ozzie, AKA, White Sox postgame.
Ozzie: “What’s this?”
Chuck: “It’s a cactus.”
Ozzie: “OK. A cactus. I’m gonna sit on it. That might hurt a little less than what I just watched.” pic.twitter.com/JgQd5ED9Rf
— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) June 11, 2024
And after just a taste of sanity with a two-game win streak, the descent back into despair is proving too much to bear. It’s only a matter of time before the dam breaks, and Late Night with Chuck and Ozzie devolves into pure, unadulterated chaos.
We aren’t exactly far off from a complete meltdown.
