John Kruk remains America’s finest philosopher

John Kruk doesn’t call every Philadelphia Phillies game, but when he’s in the booth, it’s required viewing.

You never know what the former MLB slugger is going to say, and perhaps neither does he, but he’ll always leave you thinking even if you’re thinking “what is he talking about?”

Some of Kruk’s recent bon mots include how much pressure it takes to rip a human ear off, an analysis of the first four letters of the word analogy, thoughts on Gen-Z phrases, the drama of getting locked out of his email, ketchup on hot dogs, the virtues of drinking in Montreal, and the origins of the athletic cup.

No wonder Last Week Tonight with John Oliver dedicated an entire segment to the man’s musings.

Kruk added to his ever-growing list of deep thoughts Monday when he pondered aloud how the person who invented the clock knew what the current time was.

“I was wondering, the person who invented the clock, the first clock ever. How did that person know what time it was?”

John Kruk is asking the deep questions. pic.twitter.com/n9WkDTBGXw

— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) August 19, 2025

“So you know how I think of things when I have free time and I shouldn’t?” Kruk asked broadcasting partner Tom McCarthy.

“Yep,” McCarthy responded, fully aware of the rollercoaster he’s about to board.

“So I was wondering,” Kruk continued. “The person who invented the clock…”

“Which one, the digital or the hand?” asked McCarthy.

“The first clock ever,” said Kruk. “How did that person know what time it was?”

“Boy, that’s a really good question,” responded McCarthy.

“I thought so,” added Kruk.

After some actual baseball occurred, McCarthy offered a possible answer.

“You know, there is that sundial they might have used,” he said.

“Is that accurate, though?” pondered Kruk.

McCarthy asked Kruk if he had come up with any answers, to which Kruk said he had not, and he figured McCarthy might know. The Phillies’ play-by-play man reiterates the sundial, and Kruk seems to accept that as a viable possibility.

In fact, ancient societies first kept track of time by observing astronomical bodies such as the Sun and Moon, charting where they went in the sky over a day.  Shadow clocks and sundials have been found dating back to circa 1200 BC. Obelisks were also used to indicate whether it was morning or afternoon, as well as the summer and winter solstices. There were also various kinds of time-telling devices across many civilizations, such as water clocks, incense clocks, astrolabes, candle clocks, and hourglasses. Pendulum clocks, which were created in the mid-17th century, were the first kind of precision timekeeping that led to the clocks that we have today.

So there you go. And we have John Kruk’s magical mind to thank for the impetus to learn.