Joe Benigno accused Mets owner Steve Cohen of not understanding the fanbase as uncertainty swirls around Pete Alonso's future in Queens. Edit by Liam McGuire, Comeback Media.

Oh, the pain, bro. The pain.

That’s the signature opening of a Joe Benigno rant — though this time, we’re not talking about his colorful Manscaped ad reads. The longtime WFAN host, who once jokingly claimed he caught COVID from the New York Jets’ ineptitude, hasn’t exactly caught the fever for the other source of his sports misery — the New York Mets.

The Mets are coming off an improbable season, riding high on great vibes and just made a splash by signing Juan Soto to a record-breaking 15-year, $765 million contract. Yet Benigno is acting as if Steve Cohen — strapped with the deepest pockets in the sport and a commitment to honoring the team’s history by retiring the numbers of franchise legends — is somehow tarnishing the legacy of his beloved Mets.

That’s all because of one player.

And if Pete Alonso isn’t back in orange and blue next season, there might be hell to pay.

“Do I want Pete back? Of course,” ranted Benigno during a recent WFAN spot. “The ‘boy genius’ [Mets’ president of baseball operations David] Stearns, because let’s be honest, he’s smarter than everybody in the freaking room, doesn’t want him back. And the guy that I blame is the owner. I thought Stevie Cohen had a feel for the fanbase, okay? And now, you know what they’re pulling now with this, ‘Oh, Vlad Guerrero.’ ‘We’re going to get Vlad Guerrero.’ You know what? Screw Vlad Guerrero; I want my guy.”

Benigno’s “guy” is the 30-year-old Alonso, who remains a fan favorite in Queens. While Alonso is one of the most feared power hitters in the game, he’s shown signs of decline at the plate, and his defense leaves a lot to be desired.

The Mets reportedly offered Alonso a three-year deal worth over $70 million, including opt-outs and deferrals. He’s turned down numerous contract extensions, with this being the latest. He doesn’t exactly have a robust market or any outstanding offers elsewhere, so the Mets need to keep some leverage in their collective back pocket.

That’s why Vladimir Guerrero Jr.’s name has surfaced in trade talks. While the Toronto Blue Jays don’t exactly seem eager to part with the 25-year-old All-Star first baseman, the Mets are putting it out there that they’re exploring alternatives, Alonso be damned.

As for Benigno, he couldn’t care less. He just wants his guy back.

“I’m tired of it,” he continued. “From Tom Seaver to Darryl Strawberry to Ray Knight to Kevin Mitchell to Daniel Murphy to Zack Wheeler to David Cone to Rusty Staub, I have lost every guy that I have had on my team, with the exception of David Wright.

“And whether it was that stiff M. Donald Grant, whether it was that stiff Frank Cashen, who, even though he was the GM of that championship team (1986), decided to destroy the team — and then said Darryl Strawberry wasn’t a $5 million a year ball player. Whether it was that stiff, whether it was the freaking Wilpons, now, Stevie Cohen is doing the same thing. And I am beyond livid.”

Mind you, Alonso still hasn’t signed anywhere else. Yet Benigno would have you believe this is the end of days.

“Look, I blame Cohen. To me, it’s on the owner,” Benigno explained. “Cohen’s supposed to have a feel for this fanbase. He walks around with the Mets hat on and the whole nine yards. It’s on you, Stevie, to get this guy back to where he belongs.”

Back in the real world, the Mets could hand Alonso an emotional, feel-good contract to appease Benigno and the like-minded members of the fanbase. But that’s just not how Stearns operates. The Mets didn’t poach one of the top executives in Major League Baseball to make sentimental decisions.

There’s no denying Alonso’s importance to the fanbase — he’s been a cornerstone of the franchise and one of its most beloved players. But the reality is this: Alonso doesn’t have much of a market, and the Mets are wisely waiting him out. It’s more likely he returns than not, but Cohen deserves credit for stepping back and letting his baseball people make the decisions.

Gone are the days when Cohen would swoop in for a splashy signing — like the Carlos Correa deal that fell apart. The Mets obviously want to keep their homegrown stars, but not at the expense of logic. Stearns has already signaled the direction he wants to take at first base, whether that means Alonso returns or the Mets address the position collectively.

Benigno may scoff at New York’s ‘Boy Genius,’ but Stearns has earned the benefit of the doubt after helping the Mets reach their first National League Championship Series since 2015. Alonso is a great Met, and letting him walk would be disappointing, sure. But it wouldn’t be the earth-shattering calamity Benigno is making it out to be.

About Sam Neumann

Since the beginning of 2023, Sam has been a staff writer for Awful Announcing and The Comeback. A 2021 graduate of Temple University, Sam is a Charlotte native, who currently calls Greenville, South Carolina his home. He also has a love/hate relationship with the New York Mets and Jets.