Buck Showalter takes full beards and pancake rears during MLB Network's 2024 MLB Draft Combine coverage. Screengrab: MLB Network

We can probably safely assume that Buck Showalter wouldn’t have drafted Jacob deGrom.

That’s not a knock on the former longtime skipper’s baseball acumen, but rather in line with the comments he made while on-air during MLB Network’s 2024 MLB Draft Combine coverage. Showalter, who most recently was the New York Mets manager from 2022-23 and even flirted with the idea of working as an analyst for one of the former teams he previously managed — the New York Yankees — has found a home on MLB’s flagship network, again.

Though scouting isn’t his current role, he still brings his expertise.

“I love talking to them — the conversation. You get as much, Harold, from out there being around them, watching them talk to their teammates, being around; you know how they’re gonna play a season that’s 162 games, the ebbs and flows of a season,” he told Harold Reynolds. “Where are their moms and dads? Can you imagine being a parent, sitting up in the stands, watching your kid do this? One, how proud you are, but how nervous you are.”

But when Showalter watches these prospects, he’s looking at different things than other people.

“I’m looking at how high is their butt? Do they got a full beard? You don’t see a bunch of pancake rear guys playing,” he said. “You don’t. There’s some exceptions to everything. I’m just telling you. I’ll tell you another one, too, if you look at a full beard. If I see a guy that’s got a full beard, that’s an X there. Because he’s not getting any bigger, he’s not getting any stronger. You better like what you see. He’s fully grown — for the most part.

“I’ve got more. What color eyes do they have? Are they brown? Are they green? Take a look at the batting title guys over the last 40 years; what color eyes they had, Greg (Amsinger). There’s some consistency. I can keep going; your wrists, your fingers… I’m looking too much.”

Well, I’ll say.

So there you have it. If you were blessed with a full beard but not a full rear, Showalter wasn’t interested in you.

[BroBible, MLB Network]

About Sam Neumann

Since the beginning of 2023, Sam has been a staff writer for Awful Announcing and The Comeback. A 2021 graduate of Temple University, Sam is a Charlotte native, who currently calls Greenville, South Carolina his home. He also has a love/hate relationship with the New York Mets and Jets.