There are many strange dimensions to the arrest of world No. 1 golfer Scottie Scheffler Friday ahead of his PGA Championship tee time. One of those comes from the arrest report, which in addition to outlining the injuries Scheffler supposedly inflicted on a police detective, discusses how the detective’s pants (valued at $80!) were “damaged beyond repair”:
From the Scottie Scheffler police report: the arresting officer, Bryan Gillis, says that Scheffler disobeyed his orders and then dragged him to the ground with his car causing injuries to the officer and his clothing. pic.twitter.com/oh5eOT0ZuY
— Michael Eaves (@michaeleaves) May 17, 2024
The pants note there in particular led to a lot of commentary. Here’s some of that:
I’ve been reading police reports for many years. Can’t remember seeing a sentence like this, ever: “Detective Gillis’ uniform pants, valued at approximately $80, were damaged beyond repair.” https://t.co/UBWJsxNKEY
— Don Van Natta Jr. (@DVNJr) May 17, 2024
We live in an age of hyperbole but please know “Detective Gillis’ uniform pants, valued at approximately $80, were damaged beyond repair” is one of the funniest things I have ever read or will ever read. https://t.co/kHWaHZz44s
— Kevin Clark (@bykevinclark) May 17, 2024
I know we’re all laughing and having a good time with this but please remember before you get your jokes off that there’s an 80 dollar pair of police pants that will never be worn again.
— Kevin Clark (@bykevinclark) May 17, 2024
“Detective Gillis’ uniform pants, valued at approximately $80, were damaged beyond repair” is funny on a number of levels but i really do recommend picturing a CSI-style forensic lab where a seamstress is holding up the tattered pants and saying “i can’t do anything with these” https://t.co/O7ycpbs4CQ
— Brian Grubb (@briancgrubb) May 17, 2024
Scottie Scheffler has earned $18,693,235 so far this 2024 season:
That’s enough to purchase 233,665 pairs of Detective Gillis’ uniform pants. pic.twitter.com/gESC93E1Yt
— John Nucci (@JNucci23) May 17, 2024
We’re a week away from @darrenrovell paying $3k for Officer Gillis’s pants
— Ryan Noonan (@RyNoonan) May 17, 2024
Detective Gillis when his pants got damaged beyond repair https://t.co/FDKqbklLj3 pic.twitter.com/33ND2K787F
— Michael Grier (@OleGriersy) May 17, 2024
Perhaps the funniest thing here came when people invoked the recent issues with Nike-designed, Fanatics-manufactured MLB uniforms. And a joke there from cartoonist Dave Rappoccio even led to an ill-advised attempt to respond from the official @FanaticsSupport X/Twitter account. (That’s not visible in the embed below, but can be seen at the top of this post, or here.)
I’m dying hahahahaha pic.twitter.com/iSXrKuPhS2
— Dave Rappoccio (@DrawPlayDave) May 17, 2024
And that was not the only Fanatics joke out there around these pants:
What isn’t noted in the Scottie Scheffler police report is that Detective Gillis’ pants were made by Fanatics. pic.twitter.com/XNEpzm2E6H
— Korked Bats (@korkedbats) May 17, 2024
Oh yeah his uniform is clearly made by Fanatics. Explains the ripped pants https://t.co/TXhTI0DB0P
— sportsfan247 (@sportsfan_4_) May 17, 2024
Were Gillis’ pants made by Fanatics? https://t.co/Mh1gyuRgs6
— Brian Fitz (@Brian_Logush) May 17, 2024
But @FanaticsSupport trying to chime in on a very obvious satirical post elevated this. And yes, much is still to be determined with the criminal charges against Scheffler, and the police report certainly raises the spectre of many things much more severe than ripped pants (although Scheffler’s lawyers hotly dispute that). But the inclusion of the pants being “damaged beyond repair” was remarkable, and it led to a lot of commentary, and even to that @FanaticsSupport response.
[@DrawPlayDave on X/Twitter]
