Dave Portnoy sang the Michigan fight song and cut a WWE-style promo during his 'Big Noon Kickoff' debut. Screen grab: Big Noon Kickoff
By Ben Axelrod on

After it was first announced that Dave Portnoy would be joining the cast of Big Noon Kickoff this season, it didn’t take long for many to realize that the Michigan alum’s debut would occur in Columbus.

And as if there was any doubt, the Barstool Sports founder leaned into his environment in enemy territory, arriving on the Fox set singing his alma mater’s fight song before cutting a WWE-style promo on the Ohio State fans in attendance.

“I have a couple of things to say to these people,” Portnoy said amid a sea of boos. “First of all: shut up! Shut up! I want a moment of silence, a five-second moment of silence for all you Ohio State morons who have been saying ‘here comes the hammer. Michigan’s getting the death penalty. We’re gonna have to vacate wins.’ Shut up! A moment of silence.

“Second of all, I’ve heard a lot of people be like, ‘Oh, Big Noon would only hire Dave to troll Columbus. We don’t want noon kickoffs. Hey, we have noon kickoffs too. I’m not here to troll you. You guys are being so rude.”

Wearing a Big Ten sweatshirt, Portnoy stated that if he wanted to troll Ohio State fans, he would have worn the t-shirt he had originally planned on wearing. And wouldn’t you know it, but he then removed his sweatshirt to reveal a maize and gold tee that read “*still can’t beat Michigan” before taunting the crowd with replica gold pants charms, which are awarded to Ohio State players after each win over the Wolverines.

“I’m not here to troll you. I’m here to root for the Big Ten,” he insisted. “And it goes through Ann Arbor. And until you can beat us, it will always go through Ann Arbor.”

Portnoy was just warming up.

In an ensuing segment, Urban Meyer gifted the Boston native with a custom “El Presidente” Buckeyes jersey, which Dave Portnoy implied he’d use as toilet paper. The crew then discussed the unique dynamic of Ohio State being the defending national champion coming amid a four-game losing streak to Michigan, with Portnoy suggesting Ryan Day could be fired if the Buckeyes’ head coach doesn’t beat the Wolverines for what would be the first time since 2019.

“These people can boo me all they want. What happens if you lose to Michigan again this year? [Ryan Day] could be out,” he said. “There’s a reason I’m not allowed in The Shoe today. Because he’s soft and Michigan has broken him.”

Whether or not you’re a fan of Portnoy’s schtick, his presence on Big Noon Kickoff thus far has been every bit as advertised. But while there’s certainly something to his banter with the Buckeyes faithful, it’s also fair to wonder how long it will take until the act grows old, considering how often the pregame show finds itself in Columbus each season.

For many Ohio State fans, that moment may have already arrived.

About Ben Axelrod

Ben Axelrod is a veteran of the sports media landscape, having most recently worked for NBC's Cleveland affiliate, WKYC. Prior to his time in Cleveland, he covered Ohio State football and the Big Ten for outlets including Cox Media Group, Bleacher Report, Scout and Rivals.

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