Forget the whole “Is a hot dog a sandwich?” debate. We need to dig into Ian Eagle’s “does a hot dog even need condiments?” stance.
The veteran sports broadcaster made an appearance on The Dan Le Batard Show this week and made a shocking confession regarding his eating habits. It would be incorrect to say that Eagle does not like condiments (i.e. mustard, ketchup, salad dressing). According to Eagle, he has never ingested a condiment…period.
You can listen to the shocking admission here, though you’ll probably want to skip ahead to the 22-minute mark to get to the (flavored) meat of the discussion.
“It’s not that I don’t like them, I’ve never ingested them,” said Eagle. “There’s a distinction between the two.”
As for what he dips his french fries in, Eagle says “Salt. If you feel like you need the whole motion of dipping, you do that. I don’t feel the need to dip.”
“I’ve never had blue cheese in my life,” Eagle added. “That might be my eternal kryptonite. If you’re gonna go and pick one item, it would be between blue cheese and mustard that could end me—right there. End me.”
No need to ever worry about Ian double-dipping, at least.
It’s worth noting this isn’t a new realization for America. Eagle has been very open about his non-condiment-ingesting habits for a few years now.
thinking about this interview in which ian eagle explained his aversion to all condiments https://t.co/dUmvtqL2s5 pic.twitter.com/IVEu6vfGh4
— Bill DiFilippo (@billdifilippo) March 21, 2019
However, Eagle does seem to be doing some creative condiment consideration here. He says that he does eat barbeque sauce, however, he does not consider it a condiment.
“I do have barbecue sauce. I don’t consider that a condiment, although I know deep in my heart it’s a mixture of a lot of crap. But I think I try to just pretend that it’s not, so I’d rather not get into the ingredients of it but I do have barbecue sauce. I’m not a communist.”
Eagle’s condiment concerns caused a bit of a brouhaha on social media so he spoke with CBS Sports Radio host Damon Amendolara about it as well, attempting to do a little condiment damage control.
Ian Eagle addresses the "claims" he doesn't eat condiments I @DAonCBS pic.twitter.com/YUFIuO3w1u
— Infinity Sports Network (@InfSportsNet) December 18, 2020
“I’m fascinated and puzzled by the fact that people find this interesting or that this would be any form of headline…but really the part that struck me was the term ‘claims to have never,’ as if this would be the hill that I would die on. Lying about the fact that I don’t care for condiments. Whatever I say is factual. I’m not making up stories to create internet headlines. I’m glad I’ve had this opportunity to clarify.”
Eagle also made a good point that he’s the best announcer option for any kind of condiment-related race or contest during a sporting event because he would “have complete unbiased commentary.”
About Sean Keeley
Along with writing for Awful Announcing and The Comeback, Sean is the Managing Editor for Comeback Media. Previously, he created the Syracuse blog Troy Nunes Is An Absolute Magician and wrote 'How To Grow An Orange: The Right Way to Brainwash Your Child Into Rooting for Syracuse.' He has also written non-Syracuse-related things for SB Nation, Curbed, and other outlets. He currently lives in Seattle where he is complaining about bagels. Send tips/comments/complaints to sean@thecomeback.com.