As seemingly required anytime the Dallas Cowboys are on Monday Night Football, Stephen A. Smith showed up to discuss the evening’s game against the Los Angeles Chargers.
Joining Scott Van Pelt, Marcus Spears, and Ryan Clark on the MNF Countdown desk, Smith started to regale his co-hosts with a story about an encounter with some “lady friends” who were Cowboys fans.
Before he could get any further in the story, Clark interrupted him to say “They must’ve went to the White House,” which absolutely broke Van Pelt, Smith, and Spears up for the next thirty seconds.
“That’s not in Washington, D.C.,” said Van Pelt.
“And that’s not where the President lives,” added Clark as he lost it.
https://twitter.com/awfulannouncing/status/1714067073997947028
If you’re a little confused about what they’re all laughing about, it’s because the White House in question is not the one you’re thinking of.
In the 1990s when the Dallas Cowboys were a juggernaut, wide receiver Michael Irvin and a few other Dallas players rented a five-bedroom house that was close to the team’s practice facility. One way to describe the house would be as a party destination. Another way to describe the house would be a defacto brothel.
Here’s what Jeff Pearlman once wrote about the “White House.”
“The house … was rented under the name of receiver Alvin Harper and the new neighbors in an exclusively white, low-key community were 6-foot-5 inch, 300 pound African American men escorting an endless conveyor belt of large-breasted blondes. Nate Newton insists the White House was a haven for neither prostitution (“What did we need a prostitute for? Women laid down for us”) nor drugs (Never saw ’em), yet his take is disputed by myriad teammates and people in the know.”
And there are plenty of corroborating accounts of what went down at 115 Dorsett Drive at the height of that Dallas dynasty.
“They obviously took care of business on the field,” says Anthony “Paco” Montoya, Irvin’s former long-time personal assistant. “But, man, nobody partied like them. Fights. Women. Drinking. Orgies. I’ll just say this: If there would have been smartphones and social media back then, the Cowboys wouldn’t have been able to field a team come Sunday.”
That’s quite the reference for someone to pull on Monday Night Countdown, let alone anywhere on ESPN. But as one X user put it, it’s quite possibly the most Inside the NBA moment that we’ve ever seen on the station.
We have to wonder if Undisputed co-host Michael Irvin appreciates the shoutout…
[AA on Twitter, ESPN, The Guardian, SI]
About Sean Keeley
Along with writing for Awful Announcing and The Comeback, Sean is the Managing Editor for Comeback Media. Previously, he created the Syracuse blog Troy Nunes Is An Absolute Magician and wrote 'How To Grow An Orange: The Right Way to Brainwash Your Child Into Rooting for Syracuse.' He has also written non-Syracuse-related things for SB Nation, Curbed, and other outlets. He currently lives in Seattle where he is complaining about bagels. Send tips/comments/complaints to sean@thecomeback.com.