ESPN’s ESPYs awards show always has some poignant moments, such as this year’s Arthur Ashe Courage Award presentation to sexual abuse survivors and the powerful resulting speeches, but it also goes for some comedy. And this year, part of that involved host Danica Patrick rapping about other athletes. Yes, that’s a thing that happened. And it featured Rob Huebel as “Longtime ESPY producer Maxwell Walsh” and Tim Meadows as “Danica Patrick’s publicist/apologist Ronnie Reed.” (Perhaps his greatest music-related role since Walk Hard.)
Here’s the first part of the segment, with Huebel saying “Is Danica a good rapper? No. But neither was Kobe, and nevertheless, he persisted,” Patrick dropping some rhymes about Randy Johnson and the bird, and Meadows saying “Am I concerned that Danica’s involved in cultural appropriation? Definitely.”
And it went on from there, with Patrick criticizing Lance Armstrong and Meadows uttering lines like “In her defense, in many countries ‘man-whore’ is considered a distinguished profession”:
There was also a bit with Huebel saying he was scared of watching “Chris Berman eat chicken wings real slow.” He then went on to say “But that Danica, she scares me the most.” And Patrick then dropped some rhymes about Terrell Owens and his avoidance of the Pro Football Hall of Fame induction, and he responded:
And this ended with one about Gronk, because how could it not?
That’s certainly commitment to a bit. But hey, it was good for a couple of chuckles. Let’s just hope that Patrick isn’t planning to pursue rapping full-time post-retirement, thought…
[Clippit]

About Andrew Bucholtz
Andrew Bucholtz has been covering sports media for Awful Announcing since 2012. He is also a staff writer for The Comeback. His previous work includes time at Yahoo! Sports Canada and Black Press.
Recent Posts
Tom Caron makes embarrassing flub during endless Red Sox-Pirates rain delay
Daisuke Matsuzaka, nicknamed Dice-K, hasn't played for the Boston Red Sox since 2012.
Major League Baseball spent the weekend trolling Jayden Daniels
"Won by 5 because we’re not scared of Jayden Daniels."
Mercury coach Nate Tibbetts defends Fever coach Stephanie White: ‘It’s not fair’
"They got a great team, and they're just dealing with stuff that doesn't really matter."
NFL fans robbed of hearing Chiefs rookie Peter Woods’s singing voice
Maybe next time.
Cardinals broadcaster Chip Caray says calling Joshua Baez’s historic debut ranks ‘number one’ in career
"Never been done before. EVER."
Dan Campbell urges NFL to give sideline coaches ‘a monitor’ to view TV replay angles
"I wish they’d just give us a monitor we can walk around with so we actually watch the game with you guys while we’re watching that game because you can’t see all the little things."