Stephen A. Smith and Dan Orlovsky on First Take Stephen A. Smith and Dan Orlovsky on First Take.
ESPNBy Brandon Contes on

Dan Orlovsky has long been thought of as strange. He has weird opinions, weird takes on food and weird takes on fashion. But nobody questioned his hygiene. Until now.

With literally nobody asking him, Orlovsky decided to announce he waits 25-30 showers before washing his bath towel. Everybody has some strange habits. Most people attempt to keep those habits under wraps. Orlovsky, however, took it upon himself to spontaneously broadcast one of those strange habits and it has people cringing.

Here’s the thing, if Orlovsky was willing to admit he waits 30 showers before washing his towel, odds are he waits even longer than that to grab a fresh towel. Orlovsky isn’t counting down those 30 showers, and if he’s not washing or swapping towels with any sort of regularity, then he probably loses track of how long he’s been using the same towel more than he realizes. Based on the little, yet oddly intimate information we have, I’m taking the over on that 30 number.

Credit Orlovsky for being a man of the people, however. I would have assumed a former NFL quarterback and full-timer for ESPN would have a room of freshly washed and maybe even warmed bath towels. But not Orlovsky. He doesn’t like to pay for parking, he flies coach, he scoops money up off the floor, he does his own laundry and he doesn’t have an endless amount of bath towels.

Now, where Orlovsky might take being a man of the people too far, is the fact that he reuses bath towels at the same rate as a college kid living away from home for the first time, and his palate is that of a picky toddler.

All of this points to Dan Orlovsky needing his own podcast or radio show. Considering the amount of embarrassing takes he willingly broadcasts on Twitter and brief segments on TV, it’s hard to fathom what he would say with a microphone in front of him for hours at a time. But I’m willing to listen to find out.

[Dan Orlovsky]

About Brandon Contes

Brandon Contes is a staff writer for Awful Announcing and The Comeback. He previously helped carve the sports vertical for Mediaite and spent more than three years with Barrett Sports Media. Send tips/comments/complaints to bcontes@thecomeback.com

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