Urban Meyer would have handled Colin Simmons’ bathroom break a little differently than Steve Sarkisian did.
On The Triple Option podcast with his Fox colleagues Rob Stone and Mark Ingram II, Meyer, hardly college football’s arbiter of morality, said if he were Sarkisian, he would’ve suspended the Texas defensive end for mimicking going to the bathroom during the Longhorns’ win at Tennessee on Saturday.
“If I’m the head coach and I see that kid do that, he’s out for… I’m suspending him,” Meyer said.
Simmons had just sacked Tennessee quarterback Faizon Brandon in the second quarter of Saturday’s game, with top-ranked Texas ahead 10-3 and the Vols pinned deep in their own territory, when he pantomimed unzipping his pants and urinating on the field. The officials threw a flag for unsportsmanlike conduct, which erased what would have been a fourth down and gave Tennessee a new set of downs, and the referee was left to explain to everyone in Neyland Stadium that the foul was for “simulating using the restroom.
Kirk Herbstreit and Chris Fowler were equally appalled on the ESPN broadcast.
Ref: “Unsportsmanlike conduct, defense, No. 1, for simulating using the restroom.”
Kirk Herbstreit: “Just an absolute idiotic move by Colin Simmons doing that.”
Chris Fowler: “Yeah, it’s idiotic, and it doesn’t get much more vulgar, either.” pic.twitter.com/WxLj5uTxZG
— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) September 26, 2026
Sarkisian, meanwhile, dismissed the idea of giving Simmons “the death penalty” over one unsportsmanlike conduct flag, before pointing the finger at the media and Twitter, and lamenting a “look at me” society where everyone is racing to post something for clicks.
Simmons apologized for the celebration after the game.
“I do want to say, I apologize for the celebration,” he said. “I was definitely in that mode, feeling myself, but you know, it happens.”
Simmons should be relieved he plays for Sarkisian, who seems more upset with Twitter than Meyer, who would’ve made him take a seat — and not the porcelain kind.
About Sam Neumann
Since the beginning of 2023, Sam has been a staff writer for Awful Announcing and The Comeback. A 2021 graduate of Temple University, Sam is a Charlotte native, who currently calls Greenville, South Carolina his home. He also has a love/hate relationship with the New York Mets and Jets.