Shane Gillis delivered an ESPYs monologue that pushed the envelope on Wednesday night. And it must have inspired Missouri football coach Eli Drinkwitz to try his own hand at humor during his press conference at SEC Media Days on Thursday morning.
Gillis did not pull any punches in the highly anticipated monologue, taking swings at everyone from Caitlin Clark and the WNBA to Aaron Rodgers and Bill Belichick. He also namedropped Joe Rogan, Donald Trump, and Jeffrey Epstein for good measure.
So as Eli Drinkwitz made his opening remarks at his press conference in Atlanta at SEC Media Days, he began with a joke about the “14 people” in the room before taking a big swing with an immediate Epstein Files quip.
Missouri coach Eli Drinkwitz had jokes at his SEC Media Days appearance.
“I’m not going to answer any questions about the Epstein Files, the radiation belt, and whether or not it was possible for Lee Harvey Oswald to get three shots off in seven seconds.” pic.twitter.com/4K61kUvrhR
— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) July 17, 2025
“I know there’s a lot of burning questions in this room from the 14 of you all that showed up. But just as a reminder, I’m not going to answer any questions about the Epstein Files, the radiation belt, and whether or not it was possible for Lee Harvey Oswald to get three shots off in seven seconds. I don’t have time to answer all those questions, but I will answer questions about Mizzou football,” Drinkwitz said.
If Eli Drinkwitz really wanted to make a splash, he would have just let it sit after the Epstein Files joke. But the addition of a radiation belt and Oswald line clearly tried to bring the temperature back down. And the delivery? Yeesh. I mean it’s not “Boom Goes the Dynamite” bad but it’s far closer to that than being the second coming of George Carlin. You can’t plan and write out a joke like that and then deliver it like you are lecturing a history class.
Needless to say, Shane Gillis’ job is safe and Eli Drinkwitz might want to stick to football.
About Matt Yoder