fox
2016By Alex Putterman on

The 2016 MLB postseason was wonderful, with tense games and dramatic finishes topped off with an exciting “Battle of the Championship Droughts” World Series and a Game 7 unlike any we’ve ever seen.

But the greatest pleasure the baseball world got to experience this October was the Fox studio show, moderated by Kevin Burkhardt, with analysts Alex Rodriguez, Pete Rose and Frank Thomas.

This group’s brilliance didn’t come from its ability to analyze baseball (which was passable, at best) but its wacky chemistry, which resulted in endless bad jokes and uncontrollable laughter. I found myself cracking up all month, at humor both intentional and unintentional. Often the funniest part wasn’t the joke, but how hard everyone laughed at the joke.

This Fox panel somehow made Rodriguez and Rose, two of baseball greatest villains of the past 30 years, into the most likable guys on TV. For that alone, it deserves our awe. But it also delivered more memorable moments that any studio show this side of TNT’s Inside the NBA.

The below list was originally going to be a top-10, then it became a top-12, and eventually, after reviewing the tape, I had no choice but to make it a top-15. And I still didn’t have room for Rose impersonating Snoop Dogg.

Anyway, here are my 15 favorite moments from the greatest studio show in baseball history.

15. Rose quacks, everyone laughs

The defining feature of this beautiful show was everyone laughing about something painfully unfunny. Such as Rose quacking like a duck for no reason.

14. Rose instructs Thomas on how to hold the microphone

Thomas was trying to actually talk about baseball, and there was no way Rose was going to let that happen, so he interrupted to give his colleague some useful tips about how to hold his microphone.

13. A-Rod loves Andy Pettitte

 Andy and Alex, sitting in a tree…

Because the jokes weren’t flying fast enough between Rose, Rodriguez and Thomas, Fox brought in a guest zinger-er to make fun of A-Rod. Pettitte might have a future in this.

12. Rose throws shade at the Hall of Fame

No one else on the panel seemed to pick up Rose’s little jab at the Hall of Fame, but it was flame-emoji-worthy nonetheless. For the record, Rose’s career average was .303.

11. Rose roasts Burkhardt’s hair

Burkhardt spent much of the postseason as a babysitter, choosing when to let Rose hijack the show and when to bring the conversation back to baseball. Here, he was insulted on his haircut by a man who might not own a comb.

11. “I’m an Aqua Velva man”

https://twitter.com/MLBONFOX/status/788972092855320576

How much did Aqua Velva pay Rose for this? Would he have done it for 20 bucks?

9. “He majored in eligibility”

https://twitter.com/RNs_Funhouse/status/788964165574537216

Rose makes a funny joke, then cannot stop chuckling about it while A-Rod tries to steer the conversation back toward the Cubs-Dodgers series. About 12 seconds after everyone else has moved on, Rose sneaks in one last jab at Thomas’ Auburn education. As we’re about to see, quick wit is not these guys’ strength, though exorbitant laughter certainly is.

8. A-Rod calls Rose old, Rose is not amused

https://twitter.com/RNs_Funhouse/status/790043725627961344

When Fox showed some fans dressed as members of the 1908 Cubs, A-Rod couldn’t resist a good old-fashioned “Pete Rose is old” joke. But Rose’s fake laugh is what really makes this clip great.

7. Rose suggests the Cubs go to the Cincinnati Zoo… for some reason.

The Chicago Cubs were playing the Los Angeles Dodgers in the NLCS, but Rose suggested they go to the zoo… in Cincinnati. Did he forget where he was? Is the Cincinnati Zoo so good that it warrants an off-day trip? Could the Cubs go to a closer zoo instead? No other Rose moment left us with quite so many questions.

6. Rose, Rodriguez and Thomas discuss hitting off-air

Before we get back to the bad jokes, we should pause to remember that Rodriguez, Rose and Thomas are three of the 30 or so best hitters of all time and know a whole lot about baseball.

This clip went viral not for juvenile humor, but for a peak behind the curtain of three all-time greats talking shop.

Now back to making fun of Pete Rose.

5. A-Rod calls Rose a tool, Thomas says “hardware”

What starts out with Rose mocking A-Rod turns around on the Hit King quickly. The funniest part of this is how long it takes A-Rod to come up with that hilariously uncreative joke.

But let’s talk about Thomas for a second, because he was often the forgotten man in the Rodriguez-Rose odd-couple routine. To the extent that Fox’s postseason show mirrored Inside the NBA, Rose was obviously Charles Barkley, A-Rod was Kenny Smith and Thomas was Shaq, good for an occasional quip, but otherwise happy to laugh along as a role player. Remember the SNL sketch mocking Inside the NBA where Shaq (portrayed by Barkley) contributed only uninsightful mumblings? That was Frank Thomas saying “hardware.”

4. “You know what I’ve learned about you, Pete? You’ll do anything for money!”

After having some success the previous night with the “tool” joke, A-Rod feels emboldened, leading to this amazing sequence.

After the wrestling clip plays, A-Rod quiets everyone down and puts on a slightly smug “this is about to be a good one” face, then cracks up before he’s even done with the joke. Even though his zinger isn’t all that funny or original, everyone laughs uproariously, and Rose does something that looks like an imitation of a malfunctioning robot.

Incredible.

3. Rose invokes Derek Jeter and things get awkward

Apparently Rose is the only man in America who doesn’t know that A-Rod and Derek Jeter didn’t get along so great during their time in pinstripes. When Rose mentioned how much Jeter must have inspired his star teammate, Rodriguez couldn’t even hide his displeasure.

Credit to A-Rod for pivoting to Ken Griffey Jr. in a deflection any politician would be proud of.

2. This

If you can watch this without cracking up, you’re more mature than I am.

1. Rose cannot stop laughing at Joc Pederson

https://twitter.com/RNs_Funhouse/status/786799762351632386

This, on FS1 after the Dodgers beat the Nationals in Game 5 of the NLDS, was when I knew we had something special.

What started with Rose mocking the Dodgers’ Pederson for giving a bad interview turned into laughter so raucous that Burkhardt had to ask Rose to close his mouth.

When I think back on the magic-in-a-bottle Rodriguez-Rose combination, my enduring memory will be the two of them giggling uncontrollably while connecting on a delirious high five.

Hopefully, the gang gets back together for next year’s playoffs. Regardless, we should consider ourselves blessed for October 2016.

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About Alex Putterman

Alex is a writer and editor for The Comeback and Awful Announcing. He has written for The Atlantic, VICE Sports, MLB.com, SI.com and more. He is a proud alum of Northwestern University and The Daily Northwestern. You can find him on Twitter @AlexPutterman.

View all posts by Alex Putterman