Mike and the Mad Dog

If there was ever a day when the world needed former New York sports talk power duo Mike Francesa and the Chris ‘Mad Dog’ Russo debating each other, it was Tuesday, when America freaked out about the Cincinnati’s decision to shoot a gorilla after a young child had fallen into its enclosure.

For an issue that had little complexity to it when you boil it down (can’t we all agree the mom was dumb, the gorilla did nothing wrong, but they had to shoot it?), the opinions have been endless. And when there are opinions to be had, Francesa and Russo will have them.

The two hosts on opposite coasts both went on long rants against the protestors and activists angry the gorilla was killed, and one internet hero named Carl A. Martinez mashed up the two diatribes into one Mike and the Mad Dog-style clip.

Mike and Chris are united in their defense of the kid’s mother, their praise for the zoo staff and their outright disdain for anyone so much as signing a petition in support of the gorilla. The mash-up works so well because the two hosts are simultaneously bubbling with anger, as if they’re feeding off their counterpart’s disgust. Highlights include Francesa saying “goriller” and Russo getting hoarse at the end of every single sentence.

Maybe the best part was Russo trying to establish his animal-loving bona fides.

“They can judge everyone else about how they handle their own kids, when all they care about is a dopey gorilla. And I like the gorilla, don’t get me wrong. Good-looking gorilla!”

“You can’t get on me, I love animals. I’ve got three dogs, and believe me they’re a pain in the ass, but I have them.”

While Russo was practically screaming throughout, as he tends to do, Francesa served as the relatively calm foil, sounding kind of emotional at times as he imagined the parental trauma of seeing your kid fall into a gorilla enclosure. But even the more sedate half of the (pretend) partnership began to raise his voice.

“He fell in there with a GORILLA, who is dragging him around the habitat, and you’re telling me you’re worried about the gorilla’s welfare?! What is wrong with you?”

The one matter of mild disagreement was over whether protesters had a point about making zoos safer. Mike seemed to think that was a reasonable but misguided position, while Mad Dog got pretty steamed just thinking about a zoo with higher barriers.

“And don’t sit there and tell me it’s too dangerous because they don’t have enough barriers! Ahhh stop with the barriers, would you please? Next think you know you put up walls all over the place and YOU CAN’T SEE THE ANIMALS.”

Great to hear that Mike and the Mad Dog them again, though.

About Alex Putterman

Alex is a writer and editor for The Comeback and Awful Announcing. He has written for The Atlantic, VICE Sports, MLB.com, SI.com and more. He is a proud alum of Northwestern University and The Daily Northwestern. You can find him on Twitter @AlexPutterman.