After two grueling weeks of “embracing debate,” Super Bowl 50 is finally upon us and everything is bigger, better and golder than before.

If football is America’s national religion, then this is the holiest of national holidays; we sit in front of the TV guzzling beer, stuffing our faces and cheering our unique form of gladiator combat for four hours — because this is America, dammit!

What could possibly make this day any better or more patriotic? By adding some favorite beverages of your choice to the experience. So follow along with our 50 Super Bowl 50 Drinking Game Rules and cheers to the red, white and blue.

Note: Know when to cut yourself off so you aren’t passed out before kickoff.

Responsibly drink any time you hear:

1. “Adversity”
2. “Execute”
3. “Omaha!”
4. “Arm strength”
5. “Mobility” or “Mobile quarterback”
6. “Physicality” or “Toughness”
7. “Chip on their shoulder” or “Disrespected”
8. “Old vs. New” or vice versa
9. “Golden anniversary”
10. “Remember: There has to be indisputable video evidence to overturn the call on the field.”

Responsibly drink any time you hear the following in reference to Cam Newton:

11. “Polarizing”
12. “Dabbing”
13. “Silence the critics”
14. “Face of the league”
15. “Freak athlete” or “Redefining the quarterback position”

Responsibly drink any time you hear the following in reference to Peyton Manning:

16. “Legacy”
17. “Last rodeo”
18. “Football IQ”
19. “The Sheriff”
20. “Plantar fascia” or “Neck surgery”

Responsibly drink any time CBS shows:

21. The Golden Gate Bridge
22. Alcatraz
23. Cam Newton giving a kid a football
24. Demaryius Thomas’ mom
25. Archie Manning & Eli Manning in their luxury box
26. Footage of John Elway’s helicopter spin in Super Bowl 32
27. Clips of Ron Rivera in Super Bowl 20 with the Bears
27. Footage of Gary Kubiak as a Broncos player
29. Mike Carey getting a review completely wrong
30. Roger Goodell looking smug (a.k.a. any time CBS shows Roger Goodell)

Responsibly drink any time Phil Simms says or does the following:

31. “We talked about…”
32. “Jeem” or “Heem”
33. “You gotta love…”
34. “In other words…”
35. “Like I say all the time…”
36. “When we talked to _________ the other day, he told us…”
37. “Once again…”
38. “You saw it that time…”
39. “That’s a good/great/tremendous job of…”
40. “Great feel for the game”
41. “Explosive plays”
42. “Watch this:”
43. Asks a question, then answers it himself (“Why was that an interception? Well, because…”)
44. Mansplains a rule (“Remember, for it to be a forward pass, it’s got to go FORWARD!”)
45. Reminds you he won a Super Bowl

Responsibly drink when Jim Nantz:

46. Starts the broadcast with “Hello, friends!”
* Double it if he finds a way to plug The Masters: “A tradition unlike any other…”
47. Reminds you this is the first Super Bowl where both starting QBs are No. 1 overall draft picks
48. Mentions that Thomas Davis has 12 screws in his hand
49. Corrects Phil Simms
50. Ends the broadcast with a “Nantzism,” i.e.
• “The Denver Broncos win Super Bowl 50 as The Sheriff, Peyton Manning, rides off into the California sunset!”
or
• “Even the Denver defense was no kryptonite for this Superman. Cam Newton and the Carolina Panthers are your Super Bowl 50 champions!”

Jim Weber founded the college sports website, LostLettermen.com, where he worked from 2009-15. Before that, he spent time as a researcher and reporter at ESPN the Magazine, NBCSports.com newsdesk producer and CBS Sports Network researcher.

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