For almost as long as there have been sports on broadcast television, there have been the perfunctory “keys to the game” in which the expert commentator delivers bullet points on what factors will theoretically decide the outcome.  These factors could range from the very tangible: players executing the necessary skills to achieve victory to the intangible: words like “gritty” or “gutty” or “wanting it more” or giving some percentage of effort above the maximum allowable.

But we’re beginning to realize that there’s only so much new ground we can cover in these keys to the game, and in truth, the best keys to achieve victory might be the most simple.

Outscore your opponents.

Over their weekend series with the Rockies, Fox Sports San Diego took its Keys to the Game to its logical conclusion…. and depending on your perspective, they may have saved this sports cliche or brought about its extinction.

You know what is so great about this?  We’ve finally arrived at a decisive stat both the traditionalists and the sabermetricians can agree on.

A bit meta… but entirely 100% accurate.  I love this.  Someone at Fox Sports San Diego has an amazing sense of humor.  My only hope is that this spawns more dry humor in sports telecasts across the country.  If Keys to the Game can poke fun at its own existence, anything is possible.  ESPN’s Budweiser Hot Seat may literally light someone on fire.

About Matt Yoder

Award winning sportswriter at The Comeback and Awful Announcing. The biggest cat in the whole wide world.