Freddy Adu has had a strange career. At just 26 years old—he’s just 26 years old!!!—the Ghanaian-born American attacker has played for 13 clubs since 2004, when he started his professional career with D.C United more than half a decade before he was able to legally drink.

Adu’s career has seen him caravan across the globe, from the United States to Portugal, France, Greece, Turkey, the United States, Brazil, Serbia, Finland, and, finally, the United States. Adu has only appeared in more than 11 games with a team twice in his career—both in MLS—and ended 2015 as a member of the Tampa Bay Rowdies of NASL. He had 17 appearances with the United States full national team from 2006-2011, and there was a time around 2006 when every fan in this country thought, or at least hoped, he was the future of American soccer.

Now he’s selling vacuum cleaners. On Twitter.

No mess can beat me thanks to my new ‪@HooverUSA Cordless 2-In-1 Stick and Handheld Vacuum ‪#NoCordNoBull ‪#sponsored

It’s a good thing he added the hashtag #sponsored on that tweet, because if he hadn’t, it would be the single most depressing tweet in the history of the medium. At least now we soccer faithful can take solace in the fact that no matter how far the Adu star has fallen in his career—he’s just 26 years old!—the guy can still make a little scratch standing in a corner with a TV on using a 2-in-1 vacuum and asking someone to take a blurry photo so he can tweet it.

It makes me sad to see how far Adu has fallen, and as a fan of U.S. Soccer, I wish his career had been more than what it is. I wish he had the impact with the national team we expected. And with that—one might say without further Adu—here are a few great moments in U.S. Soccer history, reimagined with Freddy a big part of the fun.

aduvacuum-usmnt aduvacuum-usmnt-brooks aduvacuum-uswnt

There, that should make everyone feel better.

About Dan Levy

Dan Levy has written a lot of words in a lot of places, most recently as the National Lead Writer for Bleacher Report. He was host of The Morning B/Reakaway on Sirius XM's Bleacher Report Radio for the past year, and previously worked at Sporting News and Rutgers University, with a concentration on sports, media and public relations.

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