Earlier this week we told you that FIFA’s laughable attempt at a propaganda film, United Passions, earned a humiliating $607 in its first two days at the box office.  Well there’s good news for FIFA!  The film’s third day at the box office did much better, increasing its average return with $309 in ticket sales on Sunday.

Drumroll please…

That means United Passions earned $918 on its opening weekend at the box office.  A film shown in ten cities across America made less than a thousand dollars.  If folks are paying $10 a ticket, that means less than 100 people saw United Passions across the country over its opening weekend.  That equates to less than one showing in one theater of a movie that is actually watchable.

Via the Hollywood Reporter:

Final weekend numbers show the FIFA-financed United Passions opening to a miserable $918 at the U.S. box office.

Writer-director Frederic Auburtin‘s film beyond bombed in its limited debut in 10 theaters. Initial numbers reported by The Hollywood Reporter showed the film earning $607 on Friday and Saturday; updated numbers show the figure to be $634. United Passions earned another $284 on Sunday, according to those with access to figures.

United Passions also debuted on VOD, but rental and sales figures were not immediately available.

The numbers from the individual theaters that United Passions played in are even more pathetic.  During its showings in Philadelphia, only two people saw the film.  Two people!  Those two people must have been either FIFA operatives in North America, or they were on the most pathetic date in the history of humankind.

The top-performing theater, as it were, was Laemmle’s NoHo 7 in North Hollywood ($249), followed by the Shirlington 7 in Hagerstown outside of Washington, D.C. ($192). New York City’s Cinema Village 3 reported $140 in ticket sales. At the other end of the spectrum, it appears that only two people went to see the film at ACM Cherry Hill 24 in Philadelphia, which reported $22 in revenue. United Passions also played in Phoenix, Kansas City, Miami, Minneapolis, Houston and Dallas.

Dividing the math out even more, United Passions’ total revenue means that those remaining six theaters across the company averaged roughly $75 in ticket sales.  The most successful showing in North Hollywood would have drawn less than 25 people at $10 per ticket!  It has to be one of the lowest grossing opening weekends in the history of American movie theaters.  And it’s just one more item for Sepp Blatter to put on his resume as FIFA President.

[Hollywood Reporter]

About Matt Yoder

Award winning sportswriter at The Comeback and Awful Announcing. The biggest cat in the whole wide world.

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