There’s a lot of sucky things about Twitter – anonymous trolls, hateful language, people tweeting before thinking, the shadowy features of our culture being dragged into the spotlight, etc.

But the great things about Twitter and social media outweigh the negatives.  Twitter allows us to directly interact with people who we never could have years ago, and do so instantly.  Social media interaction breaks down the barriers that we build up between one another as someone famous across the world is just the same as an accountant in Peoria.  Social media helps us to realize that no matter who we are, we share a common trait of humanity.  As long as you’re not one of those people who think success is defined by your number of followers, Twitter can be a pretty cool place.  It can be a place that brings us all together to celebrate our shared human experience.

It can also be a place where people from across all walks of life get in silly Twitter fights for our entertainment.

Sports Illustrated’s Richard Deitsch is the unquestioned king of Twitter Wars.  We’ve seen him take on the likes of Darren Rovell, Doug Gottlieb, Clay Travis, and more.  But he has never met a challenger with a worldwide following the likes of polarizing former CNN host Piers Morgan.

Where do Piers Morgan and Richard Deitsch intersect?  Morgan tweeted on Thursday that he would be a part of Fox’s FA Cup semifinal coverage.  In his role as SI’s media critic, Deitsch tweeted that Morgan’s involvement is a perfect example of why fans don’t trust Fox with soccer coverage.

To a point, that’s very true.  Morgan is the Skip Bayless of celebrity soccer fans and Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger is his LeBron James.  Fox including a celebrity fan in their studio flies in the face of what ESPN and NBC have done in recent years to professionalize soccer coverage in America by treating the sport and its fans with maturity.  That said, Morgan is obviously knowledgable and passionate about the sport and can hold his own as a pundit.  The tough question for Fox is whether they lose soccer fans by having to resort to the polarizing celebrity route.  Many would argue yes.

But we’re not here to talk about televised soccer coverage in America, we’re here to explore how Piers Morgan went toe-to-toe with Richard Deitsch on Twitter in one of the nastiest displays in the squared circle of social media we’ve ever seen.  But it didn’t end there as Deitsch had advocates enter the fray like they were doing a Four Horseman run-in.  Where else but Twitter Wars could you see John Legend joke about Piers Morgan’s distaste for anyone not on Wikipedia?

Piers Morgan vs Richard Deitsch

I can’t believe it’s taken this long for someone to derisively call Richard Deitsch “Dick.”

Morgan making some very personal cracks at Deitsch is obviously a low blow.  Thank goodness for him this was deemed a No DQ match or else he would have been disqualified immediately.  Deitsch kept calm and used his pinpoint precision punching to brutally mock Morgan’s CNN cancellation and poor ratings.

Piers responded by taking a run at Deitsch for… not being on Wikipedia?  That was a big miscalculation on Morgan’s part and did little to win him adoration from the unwashed masses.  If someone’s worth as a human being is judged solely on the existence of a Wikipedia page, then our society has already crumbled.  Others quickly pounced.

Piers Morgan vs Keith Olbermann

Didn’t anyone teach Piers Morgan to never cite Wikipedia as an academic source?

Morgan came back strong here, but one wonders if Olbermann’s work was already done.  KO is no stranger to protracted Twitter feuds and he showed remarkable restraint not to fire back at Morgan.  At least they didn’t dive into the second amendment.

Piers Morgan vs Jeff Pearlman

Former SI writer Jeff Pearlman then entered the fray and was swatted away by Morgan with a similar retort to that of Deitsch.  “I haven’t heard of you so you don’t matter.”  Nevermind the fact that he’s a best-selling author who’s written six books.

Piers Morgan vs Chrissy Teigen

At this point Piers Morgan was battered, but still standing.  In fact, one could argue he was feeling empowered in a sense.  It was a brave, brave effort.  There are few people who would even think of battling two well-known sportswriters and an ESPN host in one evening’s work.  He fought off the sports world and (at least in his own mind) he was still standing tall.  But then came the crucial final blow like a steel chair across the back from the most powerful force on Twitter.

Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Chrissy Teigen.

This is what the kids these days like to call a “pipebomb”…

From there, it was all #Tears4Piers…

And finally, a cameo from John Legend as the final note in this symphony…

It’s time for your vote – who won this Twitter War?

Oh, and one more thing.  At least this story ends with a happy ending.  Richard Deitsch got his Wikipedia page.

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