On Monday night, ESPN aired the Nationals-Brewers game from Miller Park. ESPN’s Tim Kurkjian took part in the race, and his performance was… well, calling it a disaster may be a little too kind. In this video, Kurkjian was dressed as the hot dog in the #4 costume.

I mean…this was pretty terrible. Kurkjian finished in last by a country mile (or as commentator Sean McDonough said, 24 lengths behind). I’m not sure what was going on with his strategy of PANTS UNDER THE MASCOT UNIFORM, but it clearly didn’t work.

I spoke with Matt Lindner, a Chicago-based writer friend of mind who actually worked as a Racing Sausage during his time with the Brewers. Lindner said that running with the sausage costume on is completely different from when you run normally, thanks to the extra four feet of room between the top of your head and the top of the costume. Also, your visibility is limited thanks to the costume, and your peripheral vision is essentially eliminated. Lindner opined that Kurkjian’s choice of slacks was “ill-advised at best”, and that many of the runners in the race dress like “they’re going to gym class.”

You can do better, Tim. This was a disaster.

About Joe Lucia

I hate your favorite team. I also sort of hate most of my favorite teams.