The 2014 ESPYS are set to air on July 16th and will include TWO HOURS of red carpet nonsense.  ESPN’s media team boasts the following:

Coverage of The 2014 ESPYS on Wednesday, July 16, will begin with The 2014 ESPYS Countdown Show presented by Capital One live from the red carpet from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. ET on ESPN. The countdown show, in its fifth year, will bring fans close to the action as presenters, nominees, celebrities and other athletes arrive for the highly-anticipated award show.

The program will be hosted by Hannah Storm with live updates from Michelle Beadle, Bill Simmons and Jalen Rose as well as celebrity and athlete interviews with Cari Champion, who will be on the red carpet with the “Kicks Cam.” 

Honestly, what is even the point of this? If LeBron hasn’t made The Second Decision yet, all Storm is going to do on the carpet is ask Venus Williams and Peyton Manning where they think LeBron will play next season while Bill Simmons and Jalen Rose arm wrestle out of boredom.

If LeBron HAS made his decision, then all Storm is going to do is ask every athlete what they think of it and why James wasn’t nominated for every single category while Justin Bieber shows up in the jersey of whatever team LeBron picks. And also, this is not the Emmys/Grammys/Oscars/Golden Globes. Why is a red carpet necessary? 

I truly fear that the two-hour countdown show will be nothing but shots of the Cleveland skyline and interviews with LeBron’s fifth cousin twice removed’s girlfriend.


About Reva Friedel

Reva is a staff writer for Awful Announcing and the AP Party. She lives in Orange County and roots for zero California teams.