If you've been reading AA this week, one of the major stories we've followed is the precipitous nosedive into hysterical absurdity that has been the live daytime episodes of SportsCenter and their futile quest to analyze the Chicago Blackhawks. After ignoring the NHL for so long, ESPN has scrambled to try to find some way to talk about the Blackhawks' point streak. The majority of the time, this has devolved into insipid and meaningless debates about which streak is better – the Blackhawks' point streak or the winning streak of the Miami Heat? We've seen everyone from Stephen A. Smith to Seth Greenberg to Chris Broussard try to answer that question to mind-boggling results, including Broussard's argument that "basketball is a better sport."
Today, ESPN went one step further by breaking down both the Heat and the Blackhawks in tandem with Kurt Rambis and Barry Melrose going back and forth on the strengths and weaknesses of the two teams. The segment was actually quite informative… until ESPN couldn't resist bringing us a few laughs at their own expense. SportsCenter asked the question on every sports fan's mind – which would be the bigger blowout: Chicago over Miami in hockey or Miami over Chicago in basketball?
With SportsCenter asking such fantastical, goofy debate questions, we're finding the most insane and hysterical ways ESPN can try to compare the Blackhawks vs Heat next!
Heat vs Blackhawks!
Blackhawks vs Heat!
It's an absurd embrace of debate for the ages!
As always, these are Real Tweets from Real People…
Which team's dogs would fare best at the Purina Incredible Dog Challenge? #HeatvsBlackhawks
— JM (@Jeff218Miller) March 7, 2013
@awfulannouncing who can collectively hold their breath longer? #HeatVsBlackhawks
— Shane Foster (@shanecfoster12) March 7, 2013
@awfulannouncing Who would be the Next Knuckler? #HeatvsBlackhawks
— Lee Poole (@leempoole) March 7, 2013
Who could filibuster longer? #HeatVsBlackhawks — Chris from CHARETTA (@CFull27) March 7, 2013
@awfulannouncing who would have a better chance of Stumping the Schwab? #HeatvsBlackhawks
— Kyle (@Korver24) March 7, 2013
Which team would have the best chance of diffusing the escalating nuclear threat from North Korea? #HeatvsBlackhawks @awfulannouncing
— 34inXXIII (@34inXXIII) March 7, 2013
1 script of Hamlet and 3 props, who puts on a better play? #HeatvsBlackhawks
— Matteo(@Matteooo49) March 7, 2013
@awfulannouncing If the Heat tm bus left at 5am travelin 60mph & Hawks left at 7am traveling 75mph where would they meet #HeatvsBlackhawks
— Mote T (@Timote44) March 7, 2013
And now, a few selections from the Tim Tebow division…
@awfulannouncing Who would benefit more from Tim Tebow's intangibles? #HeatvsBlackhawks
— Justin McIsaac (@Justin_McIsaac) March 7, 2013
Who would benefit more from trading for Tim Tebow? #HeatVsBlackhawks
— Nathan Nommensen (@NateNomm) March 7, 2013
@awfulannouncing Which team would Tebow be a better TE on?#HeatvsBlackhawks
— Joe Stunek (@j_stunek) March 7, 2013
@awfulannouncing Whose offense would be a better fit for Tim Tebow? #HeatvsBlackhawks
— Alex Potash (@Alex_Potash) March 7, 2013
@awfulannouncing who is better at Tebowing? #HeatvsBlackhawks
— Luke sportsondraught (@sportsondraught) March 7, 2013
And finally…
@awfulannouncing Who would reach the top of the Aggro Crag first? #HeatvsBlackhawks
— Steven Hatfield (@snhatfield2) March 7, 2013
@awfulannouncing if the moon was made from BBQ Spare Ribs who would eat it quicker? #HeatvsBlackhawks
— Dan Hoblick (@DanHoblick) March 7, 2013
.@awfulannouncing who would win a game of hungry hungry hippos played drunk in a cab in buffalo? #HeatvsBlackhawks
— Ricky Cibrano (@RickyCibrano) March 7, 2013
@awfulannouncing Who lasts longer? Blackhawks in 200 degree heat or the Heat getting pecked in their faces by Blackhawks?#HeatvsBlackhawks
— Jodie Cook (@jodiecook) March 7, 2013
@awfulannouncing Who's more NOW? #HeatvsBlackhawks
— Joe McCann (@JoeMcCann3) March 7, 2013
@awfulannouncing which team would make it further on Top Chef? #HeatvsBlackhawks
— Ryan Hopkins (@Ryan_Hopkins33) March 7, 2013
@awfulannouncing Who would win in a chili cook-off, Joel Quenneville or Erik Spoelstra? #HeatvsBlackhawks
— Austin Narber (@narber426) March 7, 2013
Who would Taylor Swift dump and write a song about first? #HeatvsBlackhawks
— Kara Richey (@Kara1039TheGame) March 7, 2013
